(Southern England, early 13th century. In a
nobleman's hall a feast it taking place. A small jester entertains
while music is provided on a lute. Suddenly a sullen man wearing a
crown slams his goblet down on the top table.)
(The lute player stops, stands and bows.)
JOHN: This is a poor welcome, my lord.
RANULF: But sire
(Everyone say Hi! to Frank
JOHN: Hear us. We have come to ask but a pittance. Three marks per
knight's fee. You obstruct the Crusade, my lord, with your parsimony.
RANULF: But your Majesty already has my whole fortune willingly given
but six month's since. There is no more. My coffers are empty.
JOHN: Your words are more generous than your purse, Lord Ranulf. If you
speak truth, if we have your whole fortune, you insult us.
(The King's Champion, a burly chap with lots of red hair, gets up and
throws a gauntlet onto the floor. He speaks with a French accent.)
GILLES: You insult the King.
RANULF: Your Majesty, I
GILLES: You insult the King.
(A young man dashes forward to pick up the gauntlet first.)
GILLES: Are you so craven?
HUGH: My father is of ill-health, Sir Gilles.
HUGH: I pick up your gage.
(Hugh tries to slap Sir Gilles across the face with the gauntlet, but
his arm is held firm.)
RANULF: I beg your Majesty. Take my lands, my goods, my chattels, even
the robes I stand in, but spare me my surviving son.
HUGH: Father, do not dishonour me.
RANULF: My son, your Majesty.
JOHN: We shall see, my lord, if your fealty is as slender as your
fortune. Your son shall meet our champion on the morrow. We shall
retire and dream sweet dreams. We bid you goodnight.
RANULF: Goodnight, sire.
(The tents are set up outside Bodiam Castle in
Sussex for the fight, and it has drawn a fair crowd.)
SOLDIER: Make way for the King.
(King John takes his position on the dais amongst the nobles. Sir
Gilles and Hugh are mounted on their chargers and don helmets before
taking their lances and moving into position. The King gives the signal
and the two knights charge down the lists at each other. The first pass
is indecisive so they go again. Then the Tardis materialises, spooking
JOHN: Ah, friends, friends, calm yourselves. There's no cause for
TURLOUGH: Planet Earth.
DOCTOR: So it seems.
TURLOUGH: You didn't set the coordinates for here by any chance?
TEGAN: When is it?
DOCTOR: March the fourth, 1215.
TEGAN: Is it England?
DOCTOR: Yes, it is.
TEGAN: Could this be a Black Guardian trap?
DOCTOR: I don't think so, but something certainly isn't right.
TEGAN: You're not going out there?
DOCTOR: Just for a moment.
(The Doctor hands Tegan a thick coat to put over her multi-coloured
TEGAN: That man looks distinctly unfriendly.
DOCTOR: So he does.
(The crowd gasp and take a step back as the Doctor
comes out of the Tardis.)
GILLES: My liege, I have no need of aid from Lucifer.
TEGAN: Is that the King?
DOCTOR: Without a doubt.
JOHN: Damn you cringing caitiffs. We tell you there's naught to fear.
Do our demons come to visit us? Bid them attend us.
DOCTOR: Demons? Very odd indeed.
TEGAN: Makes a nice change for you not to take everything in your
stride, I must say.
DOCTOR: Must you?
TEGAN: Too right.
DOCTOR: He even seems pleased to see us. A king welcoming demons.
TEGAN: Which king?
DOCTOR: Oh, Tegan. 1215? King John, of course.
TEGAN: The one who lost something in the Wash?
DOCTOR: Well, you could put it like that. This particular shirt turned
out to be the Crown Jewels, but that's next year. We're still three
months away from Magna Carta.
(Two of the King's knights come to escort the Doctor, Turlough and
Tegan to the King.)
JOHN: Welcome, our demons. Name yourselves. Can this be Lilith?
DOCTOR: Her name is Tegan, your Majesty. This is Turlough, and I am the
Doctor. We are not demons.
JOHN: You're too modest, Lord Doctor. Come, rejoice with us in a trial
by combat. Come, make way for our demons. Let them be seated by us.
(Ranulf and Isabella, and another man, give up their places. The
knights replace their helms and charge down the lists again. Sir
Gilles's lance catches Hugh square in the shield and knocks him to the
ground. Whilst Hugh is still winded, Estram dismounts and raises his
sword to kill Hugh.)
DOCTOR: Your Majesty, if I may make so bold.
JOHN: Hold! Lord Doctor?
DOCTOR: If this is trial by combat, your Majesty, there's clearly a
victor and a vanquished. Must blood be shed?
JOHN: We take your counsel, O demon. Spare him.
HUGH: Come, sir, despatch.
(Isabella goes to console her son. Sir Gilles
listens from behind a pillar.)
HUGH: I am dishonoured.
DOCTOR: You are alive, my friend.
HUGH: No friend to you.
(Hugh storms out.)
RANULF: Heed him not, whoever you are. I am grateful. You are welcome
at Fitzwilliam Castle.
DOCTOR: Thank you.
RANULF: Soon we shall sit at meat. Betimes you may wish to withdraw.
Conduct my guests to their chamber.
(A page leads the way.)
TEGAN: How can they live in such cold?
DOCTOR: By eating lots of food.
(Turlough hangs back.)
DOCTOR: Thank you. Where's Turlough?
TEGAN: He stopped to look at something. Look at the size of that bed!
DOCTOR: Hmm. Another way of keeping warm.
TEGAN: What are we doing here, anyway?
DOCTOR: We were invited for a meal.
TEGAN: You know what I mean.
(The Doctor takes a large skin from the bed.)
DOCTOR: Here, put this around you.
TEGAN: How long are you planning to stay?
DOCTOR: Do you know, it's just sunk in. March the fourth, 1215.
DOCTOR: There's something very wrong here.
(Turlough is looking out of a small opening in the
wall when he is touched on the shoulder by a sword point.)
HUGH: Stand, demon.
DOCTOR: The King takes the oath today.
TEGAN: What oath?
DOCTOR: To take the cross as a Crusader. But he did that in London.
TEGAN: Who says?
DOCTOR: Your history books.
TEGAN: Perhaps they got that bit wrong.
DOCTOR: No, no, too well documented.
TEGAN: Oh, who cares?
DOCTOR: I care.
TEGAN: All I care about is getting back to the Tardis, where it's nice
and warm. No wonder they forced him to sign Magna Carta. Bet there was
something in it about underheated housing.
DOCTOR: He wasn't.
TEGAN: Wasn't what?
DOCTOR: Forced into signing Magna Carta. He was as much for it as
TEGAN: Now look, Doctor, I know my history.
DOCTOR: Do you?
HUGH: I would know who or what you are.
TURLOUGH: I've told you. I'm Turlough.
HUGH: Take him.
(Isabella is working on a tapestry, like a good
ISABELLA: He is proud, my Lord. He will never forgive you.
RANULF: And you?
ISABELLA: With all my heart. But he is your son. He is as proud as you.
RANULF: Time heals. But at the present, my concern is for the King. Why
is he so changed? And who are these beings he calls demons?
GILLES: My Lord.
RANULF: What now?
GILLES: I must ask the Lady Isabella to accompany me.
RANULF: To what end?
GILLES: Your lady is to be held in custody.
GILLES: To be held in custody against your continued good behaviour
toward our sovereign lord, the Kind.
RANULF: On whose authority.
GILLES: Of that of the King.
RANULF: The King is a guest in my house. He would not use me thus.
GILLES: He would and does, my Lord.
RANULF: We shall see.
GILLES: Be not rash, my Lord. The King is resting. He sends word to not
preserve pitchers. A new cider will be provided when he dines.
RANULF: You dare to
ISABELLA: Be not provoked, my Lord. The King shall lack no comfort
while within these walls.
GILLES: My Lady.
(Isabella is escorted out.)
(Turlough is held by two guards.)
TURLOUGH: I've nothing to hide. I'll tell you anything you want to
HUGH: But you speak nothing but madness.
TURLOUGH: I've told you who I am and where I come from. What more do
HUGH: Are you the King's man like my father?
TURLOUGH: I am nobody's man.
HUGH: Then what do you here?
TURLOUGH: I came with the Doctor.
HUGH: And what is this Doctor's purpose?
TURLOUGH: I don't know.
HUGH: Well, perhaps I can loosen your tongue.
(Hugh opens the smaller of two iron maidens.)
TURLOUGH: There really is no need for any of this.
HUGH: Fill her!
(The sound of footsteps.)
GILLES: Seize them!
(Hugh tries to defend his mother, but Sir Gilles easily disarms him.)
GILLES: Twice in one day. It is most embarrassing.
HUGH: You'd best kill me now, for if you do not, I will most assuredly
GILLES: Why is youth given to such extravagance?
(Sir Gilles throws Hugh across the room.)
GILLES: It appears, my Lady, you will not be without companionship.
Secure them! And then we will examine this demon's blue engine.
TEGAN: Are you saying King John was a good man?
DOCTOR: Well, given the times he lives in, yes. But don't take my word
for it. You'll be able to judge for yourself. Nobody forced Magna Carta
from him. He could have crushed that rebellion as easily as that.
(The Doctor snaps his fingers. Ranulf enters, sword drawn.)
RANULF: What have you demons made of the King? He is bewitched. First
he takes my whole fortune, and now he has made my lady a hostage. How
can he question my loyalty? There is none more loyal than I.
DOCTOR: We are not demons and we've done no harm to the King, or to
anyone. Nor do we intend any.
RANULF: Whence come you?
DOCTOR: From an outer province.
RANULF: And this strange attire?
DOCTOR: Yes, well. Please believe that we are friends. If you're in
trouble, I would like to help if I can.
(Ranulf sheaths his sword and turns to his guards.)
RANULF: Leave us, and fetch warm vestments.
(The guards obey.)
RANULF: You were three.
DOCTOR: Yes, yes, we seem to have mislaid Turlough. How long has the
King been here?
RANULF: Since yesterday. He is not himself. He's not as I know him.
DOCTOR: Well, could he be ill?
RANULF: In rude health. He rode from London yesterday, and then to a
stag hunt to bring down the only kill.
DOCTOR: This Sir Gilles.
RANULF: I like not this man.
DOCTOR: Well, I can't say I care for him much myself. A French knight.
Is he the only Frenchman with the King?
RANULF: I know not. He has never favoured Frenchmen before this, even
renegades from the King of France.
DOCTOR: Could Sir Gilles be bringing some pressure, some influence on
RANULF: The King is influenced by none. The King I know is resolute and
firm of purpose.
DOCTOR: When does he return to London?
RANULF: I know not, and no word from the city. My cousin was summoned
there by the King a week since, and he's not returned. Why? And why no
word concerning him?
DOCTOR: Your cousin was summoned to London?
RANULF: Aye, to take the Crusader's oath.
DOCTOR: Today, March the fourth.
RANULF: What say you, my Lord Doctor?
DOCTOR: What if your guest was not the King?
RANULF: Not the King? Then who?
DOCTOR: An imposter.
RANULF: I have known and served my sovereign lord for many years. No
imposter could be so like.
DOCTOR: Be vigilant, my Lord. I suspect things are not what they seem.
RANULF: You are a sorcerer.
DOCTOR: No, no, and I ask you to trust me, please.
TEGAN: You can trust us.
RANULF: You will join my household at meat.
DOCTOR: Thank you, we would be delighted.
RANULF: When it pleases you.
(Sir Gilles supervises the Tardis being carted into the castle. A large
cloak has been provided for Tegan.)
TEGAN: Yes. Shouldn't we find out what's happened to Turlough?
DOCTOR: We will.
TEGAN: I don't feel safe here.
DOCTOR: A while longer, then we'll go.
[Outside the castle]
(A pair of riders are greeted by Sir Gilles and
GILLES: Name yourself, Sir Knight.
GEOFFREY: Geoffrey de Lacy, cousin to Ranulf Fitzwilliam. And your
GILLES: Gilles Estram, King's Champion.
GEOFFREY: Why then are you not with the King?
GILLES: I am.
GEOFFREY: How can that be, since the King is in London?
GILLES: Non, the King is here.
GEOFFREY: Borne on eagle's wings? I left the King in the Tower this
GILLES: You lie! Take him.
(The meal is already underway when the Doctor and
JOHN: Our demons, welcome.
(The Doctor bows and Tegan curtseys.)
JOHN: Come join us.
(The Doctor and Tegan take the seats that should be occupied by
Isabella and Hugh, at Ranulf's left hand.)
DOCTOR: (sotto) Trust me.
TEGAN: (sotto) What about Turlough?
DOCTOR: (sotto) Stop fussing.
(Turlough, Isabella and Hugh are all chained to
ISABELLA: Can you not help us?
TURLOUGH: I wish I could.
HUGH: Can you not call on Hell?
TURLOUGH: I could, but then so could you, with a better chance of
success, I fancy.
(Four guards enter and carry away the smaller iron maiden.)
TURLOUGH: I do hope they've found a better use for it.
ISABELLA: A better use?
DOCTOR: If he's not the King, who is he and why?
TEGAN: Do you seriously expect me to answer that?
DOCTOR: Why didn't he react like everybody else? Why wasn't he scared?
And why are we his demons?
TEGAN: Could he be the Devil? I only said could.
(The jester gets a round of applause.)
JOHN: The lutes. Let us have the lutes.
(The lute player hands his instrument to the King, who plays it very
JOHN: (singing) We sing in praise of total war, against the Saracen we
abhor. To free the tomb of Christ our lord, we'll put the known world
to the sword. There is no glory greater than to serve with gold the Son
of Man. No riches here on Earth shall see, no scutage in eternity.
GILLES: And now, sire, for some additional entertainment.
(The iron maiden is carried in.)
JOHN: Bravo, our champion. And who is to delight in her embrace?
(Geoffrey is escorted in.)
RANULF: Geoffrey! Sire, this is my cousin Geoffrey de Lacy, a loyal
knight. You summoned him to London but a week since to take the
JOHN: So we did, indeed we did. And he has seen fit to disobey that
GEOFFREY: Not so. I left your Majesty in London four hours since. You
GILLES: You lie. The King has been here since yesterday. Now let the
maiden reward such mendacity. Prepare her.
RANULF: Sire, be merciful, I beg you.
GILLES: Your cousin is guilty of lèse majesté, my Lord.
DOCTOR: Your Majesty.
JOHN: What? Our demon, you too would beg for mercy.
DOCTOR: Oh, indeed no, sire, but surely such a fate is too mild. Would
not boiling in oil be a more fitting end?
JOHN: Ha! It must be a decade, our champion, since we boiled in oil. We
accept your counsel, O demon.
DOCTOR: I thank your Majesty, but I was not suggesting alternative
retribution. My interruption was provoked by shock.
DOCTOR: Yes, I was quite shocked at Sir Gilles' monstrous lack of good
GILLES: Who dares to question my good taste?
DOCTOR: In my view, it is the worst possible taste to even think about
following the King's quite remarkable performance. One just can't
GILLES: I am insulted!
(Sir Gilles hits the Doctor with his gauntlet. The Doctor removes his
TEGAN: Are you mad?
RANULF: He is said to be the best swordsman in France.
DOCTOR: Fortunately, we are in England. May I?
(Ranulf hands the Doctor his sword.)
DOCTOR: Thank you. I hope I don't disgrace it. In case of accidents
TEGAN: Doctor, don't do it.
DOCTOR: In case of accidents, find Turlough.
JOHN: Well, our Champion and our demon. Have a care, Sir Gilles. Has
our demon mortal life to lose?
GILLES: I fear no hellhound.
JOHN: Then set to.
(Sir Gilles mostly lunges, the Doctor mostly parries and dodges. They
take the fight up the stairs and back down into the hall. One of Sir
Gilles' thrusts comes very close to the King. Finally, the Doctor gets
to step on the Champion's sword, pulling it out of his hand.)
JOHN: Bravo, our demon.
(Gilles pulls out his tissue compressor eliminator and his face changes
from that of Estram to Master.)
DOCTOR: You escaped from Xeriphas.
MASTER: Oh, my dear Doctor, you have been naive.
DOCTOR: Not at all. You may disguise your
features, but you can never disguise your intent.
MASTER: And you can't approve.
DOCTOR: You know I can't.
TEGAN: Tissue compression eliminator.
MASTER: You've always been my greatest stimulation, my dear Doctor, but
now you inspire me.
(Tegan throws a knife at the Master, but he catches it without even
MASTER: Your first slip, my dear Doctor. Would you care to make a
(The Master holds out both the TCE and the knife hilt to the Doctor. He
snatches the TCE.)
MASTER: And now a third. This is useless in your hands. You have moral
JOHN: Come, what is this discourse? Consummate the victory.
(The Master drops the knife.)
MASTER: Come, kill me. Thwart my little game.
JOHN: Kill him.
DOCTOR: It is sufficient, your Majesty, that your Champion is disarmed.
JOHN: Not for us. In sooth, this is but a puny demon that has no
stomach for it. So be it. Let the Maiden embrace the vanquished.
MASTER: Your Majesty, no! Have mercy! I beg you, no!
(The Master is hustled into the Iron Maiden by a couple of guards.)
DOCTOR: Sire, I must intercede. As victor, I beg you to be merciful.
JOHN: We are not merciful, our demon.
DOCTOR: Your Majesty!
JOHN: Hold! We give you the choice, our demon. The Maiden shall embrace
this snivelling wretch, or Sir Geoffrey. Choose, our demon. Come, the
lady waits, impatient to lavish her warm favours. Come, our demon.
(The Doctor gives Ranulf his sword back. The Master screams as the door
of the Iron Maiden is closed and locked. Then it dematerialises.)
JOHN: Behold, our demon. We too have tricks.
(Chuckling, the Master settles himself at a
MASTER: Come, my toy, perform.
TEGAN: What's the Master up to?
DOCTOR: He's using that imposter to bring the real King John into
disrepute. And now he thinks he's trapped us into doing his dirty work
(Ranulf unshackles Geoffrey.)
RANULF: He is not the King.
GEOFFREY: Well, not if he is here since yesterday.
RANULF: Then who is he?
GEOFFREY: Or what. There's devil's work in this.
JOHN: Our demon shall be our Champion. Accoutre him.
DOCTOR: See what I mean?
GEOFFREY: We must act, and without delay.
RANULF: There is naught we can do. He has Isabella held hostage.
GEOFFREY: Then I must to London to warn the King.
MASTER: Stop Geoffrey.
JOHN: Sir Geoffrey, surely you do not take your
leave so soon? You are but arrived. Attend us. We would know how you
think we can be in two places at the same time.
(The Master's Tardis materialises, still disguised
as an Iron Maiden, and the Master steps out in his usual black
ISABELLA: Saints protect us.
HUGH: Another demon.
MASTER: Nay, good sire, I am no demon. I come to help you. And to save
the King from that demon that has bewitched him. Gaoler! Open, good
fellow. The King is in danger.
ISABELLA: Who are you?
MASTER: I am the Master.
(The gaoler enters.)
MASTER: Release your lord and lady.
ISABELLA: Do as you are bidden!
MASTER: I am the sworn enemy of that demon who calls himself the
Doctor, who has come to defame the King and bring ill-repute to him.
TURLOUGH: That's not true!
ISABELLA: Defame the King? Why should he?
MASTER: To set the Barons of Britain against him, to provoke a great
rebellion and topple him from the throne.
MASTER: To serve the devilish Doctor's own purpose.
TURLOUGH: No, don't listen to him.
MASTER: No, fellow, leave him. He serves the Doctor.
TURLOUGH: Don't listen to him, please. He is the evil one.
MASTER: We shall see.
(The Doctor wears a thick robe and has a sword
belt around his waist.)
JOHN: Is our Champion not ready?
DOCTOR: Ready, sire.
JOHN: Then let him attend us with his squire.
DOCTOR: That's you.
JOHN: Your sword. Come, your sword. We grow tired.
(The Doctor gives King John his sword.)
(The King dubs the Doctor.)
JOHN: Arise, Sir Doctor.
(The Doctor takes back his sword.)
GEOFFREY: Who is this Doctor?
RANULF: He says he comes as friend.
JOHN: You are now our Champion.
DOCTOR: Your Majesty does me great honour. And my first action in this
role shall be to arrest that man. Arrest Sir Geoffrey de Lacy.
GEOFFREY: A friend of thine, perhaps, not mine.
DOCTOR: Unhand him. He is a man of honour. Lord Ranulf, is there a
dungeon in this castle?
RANULF: There is.
DOCTOR: Sir Geoffrey, do you know it?
GEOFFREY: Then be so good as to lead me to it.
JOHN: We like our new Champion. He's something of a jester.
DOCTOR: I must insist you lead me to the dungeon.
(The Doctor draws his sword.)
DOCTOR: You have no choice. Must I remind you that my sovereign lord
holds the Lady Isabella hostage?
RANULF: I thought you friend. Geoffrey.
GEOFFREY: For you, cousin.
(The guards start to accompany Geoffrey.)
DOCTOR: No, my friends, attend the King. I have no need of assistance.
Your Majesty. Sir Geoffrey.
JOHN: We are tired. We shall retire and rest a while.
TEGAN: Would you very much mind
TEGAN: Telling me what's going on?
DOCTOR: In the interest of security, where is the Master most likely to
house his Tardis?
TEGAN: In a dungeon.
DOCTOR: Quite so.
(The Master, Isabella and Hugh hide outside as
Geoffrey leads the Doctor and Tegan into the dungeon, then they leave.
The gaoler brings the group into Turlough's cell.)
TURLOUGH: Doctor, you won't believe this, but
DOCTOR: You've seen another Tardis. Release him.
GEOFFREY: The Maiden!
DOCTOR: Quite so.
GEOFFREY: Is Sir Gilles
DOCTOR: There is no Sir Gilles. He is the Master in disguise. Now, you
could call him a demon. Sir Geoffrey, you are no longer a prisoner.
GEOFFREY: Who are you?
DOCTOR: A friend, who wants to help. The Master has set up an imposter
as King John of England.
TEGAN: What for?
DOCTOR: To change the course of history.
TEGAN: What possible satisfaction can that give him?
DOCTOR: He wants to rob the world of Magna Carta. Small time villainy
by his standards, but nevertheless something I intend to stop if at all
GEOFFREY: But why do you serve this imposter king?
DOCTOR: To gain time, and access to this.
(The Doctor turns on the TCE and puts it either inside or behind the
Maiden, I'm not sure which.)
DOCTOR: You know the true king?
GEOFFREY: Aye. Did we not take the Crusader's oath together but
DOCTOR: Then we must get you to London so you can warn him.
GEOFFREY: 'Tis but four hours ride.
DOCTOR: Oh, I can get you there much quicker than that.
GEOFFREY: Your engine?
DOCTOR: Yes, but first we must bring it here, into the castle.
TEGAN: Look, let's all get out of here while we've still got the
DOCTOR: No, we must bring the imposter with us.
DOCTOR: To expose the Master's plan. Now, come along. (to gaoler) If
you so much as touch this, something very nasty will happen to you.
TEGAN: You're never leaving the compressor here for the Master.
DOCTOR: As a matter of fact, I am.
(The Fitzwilliam family are reunited.)
RANULF: I am most grateful, er
MASTER: I am called the Master.
ISABELLA: I too owe you gratitude.
RANULF: Name what you will, Lord Master. It shall be yours.
MASTER: I ask no reward. I wish merely to rid the King of his demons.
That's why I'm here.
RANULF: How long has the King been thus afflicted?
MASTER: Who can tell? Perhaps he's always been accursed.
RANULF: Have we any power against this sorcery?
MASTER: I have.
RANULF: Then this Doctor demon must be captured and put to the fire.
ISABELLA: My lord
MASTER: If then, my lord, you will put your knights and men-at-arms at
RANULF: It shall be done.
(The Doctor, Tegan, Turlough and Geoffrey discover
the Tardis has already been removed.)
GEOFFREY: The tracks lead directly to the castle.
DOCTOR: The Master, of course.
TEGAN: Now what?
DOCTOR: Back to square one.
DOCTOR: I'm sorry, Sir Geoffrey.
GEOFFREY: I will alone to London, if someone will help with a horse.
TURLOUGH: I will.
GEOFFREY: My thanks.
(Ranulf leads in his fighting men.)
RANULF: This is the Lord Master, come to rid the King of his demons.
Obey him in all things.
(Hugh runs in.)
HUGH: Father, the dungeon is empty.
ISABELLA: They've taken Geoffrey.
RANULF: Find these demons and bring them hither.
MASTER: And the engine. Without it, they're helpless.
RANULF: And the blue engine.
HUGH: What of the King? Is he guarded?
MASTER: I've seen to this. I'll oversee the search and then attend the
RANULF: God be with you.
TEGAN: But he couldn't have got the Tardis in
here. None of the outer doors is big enough.
DOCTOR: Well, not for Sir Gilles. All the Master has to do is set
TEGAN: Where would he keep it?
DOCTOR: The same place he keeps the King.
(They meet a group of men-at-arms.)
DOCTOR: Ah, I wonder if you'd be so good as to show me to the King's
chamber. I must insist. I am the King's Champion.
HUGH: No longer, Sir Demon. Take them.
TURLOUGH: Go on.
(Turlough slaps the horse's rump, and Sir Geoffrey trots across the
drawbridge on his white charger.)
(The Master watches from an upper 'window' as a
crossbowman takes aim and shoots the rider in the back.)
MASTER: Tee hee hee. Excellent shot.
(Turlough is apprehended.)
RANULF: We have your engine, demon.
DOCTOR: So I see. Where was it?
RANULF: Where you left it, with the King. Did you think to kidnap him?
Your plan is foiled. Where is Geoffrey?
DOCTOR: Safely on his way to London.
RANULF: You lie.
DOCTOR: He should be there in a few hours.
TEGAN: He's going to kill us.
DOCTOR: The coordinates will be set. Get into the Tardis.
HUGH: Father, they hatch plots.
RANULF: You have slain Sir Geoffrey.
TEGAN: No, I believe he may be in the Tardis. Blue engine.
RANULF: Open it.
TEGAN: No, I must open it. Other demons may try to harm you.
TEGAN: I must distract them somehow.
(The Tardis dematerialises and everyone crowds
round where it had been, allowing the Doctor to remove his cloak and
slip away, watched only by the Master in the minstrel's gallery.)
RANULF: The demon has vanished! Find Sir Geoffrey.
(Something starts beeping.)
TEGAN: Now what?
(The Doctor discards the last piece of his
mediaeval robes and puts his jacket back on. Then he hears a lute
JOHN [OC]: (singing) We sing in praise of total war against the Saracen
(The Doctor enters.)
JOHN: (singing) To free the tomb of Christ our Lord
(But the singer is actually a silver android.)
KAMELION: We'll put the known world to the sword. Welcome, my demon.
DOCTOR: Your Majesty seems in need of a doctor.
MASTER: Allow me to introduce Kamelion.
DOCTOR: Your work.
MASTER: Alas, modesty forbids such a claim. Kamelion is a tool of an
earlier invader of Xeriphas, and instrumental in my escape from that
DOCTOR: This is your King John?
MASTER: Look again.
(Kamelion transforms itself from metal to apparent flesh and blood
MASTER: A weapon used by the invaders of Xeriphas. A decoy, capable of
infinite form or personality.
JOHN: Well said, my demon. We are a complex mass of artificial neurons.
DOCTOR: And controlled by?
MASTER: Nothing more than simple concentration and psychokinetics. Look
(King John transforms into the Doctor.)
DOCTOR: Can anyone play?
(Kamelion becomes the Master.)
MASTER 2: Quite masterly.
MASTER: You flatter me. I prefer bad King John.
(The stricken Geoffrey is laid out on furs, on a
RANULF: Speak, cousin. Who has done this?
DOCTOR: So Kamelion here is bad King John.
MASTER: Aided and abetted by you, his demon, and your blue engine.
DOCTOR: It's cunning of you to confirm the superstitions put about by
MASTER: Irresistible. Your arrival here was most timely.
DOCTOR: A gift.
MASTER: How succinctly put.
DOCTOR: The King turns the Barons solidly against him, he is killed in
battle or deposed, possibly in favour of King Phillip of France. He
cannot therefore offer Magna Carta. What do you think of it so far?
MASTER: I couldn't do better myself.
DOCTOR: Thus the foundations of parliamentary democracy will never be
DOCTOR: You cannot be allowed to alter the course of history, even
MASTER: How do you propose to stop me?
DOCTOR: I shall have to give it some thought.
MASTER: You haven't much time.
DOCTOR: And you haven't your compressor.
MASTER: I still have my wits.
DOCTOR: So do I.
(Hugh brings in Turlough.)
HUGH: Here is one not escaped.
RANULF: Vile villain! He has slain Sir Geoffrey.
TURLOUGH: I didn't do it.
HUGH: You will die in torment, catiff.
TURLOUGH: You're always threatening me, and without the slightest
HUGH: Be silent.
TURLOUGH: I was trying to help him.
RANULF: Help him?
TURLOUGH: To a horse, to get to London.
RANULF: To what end?
TURLOUGH: To warn the King!
RANULF: The King is here!
ISABELLA: He speaks.
GEOFFREY: (sotto) The King. Doctor. Seek.
ISABELLA: Geoffrey. Oh.
HUGH: Seek the Doctor? Where, in hell?
RANULF: The Master will know.
HUGH: Where is he?
RANULF: He will be with the King. Bring the rogue.
(The console is still beeping.)
TEGAN: Think. Think.
MASTER: You would do well, my dear Doctor, to
ponder that you played directly into my hand.
KAMELION: And into ours.
DOCTOR: He has a mind of his own?
MASTER: Indeed. But highly susceptible.
KAMELION: Dominated by our demons.
MASTER: You will know that the King and his dead brothers are believed
to be the devil's work. Your interference here with your dreary Tardis
has only confirmed this. You are, dare I say so, discredited demons,
and as such you make a unique contribution to altering the course of
history. Hoist on your own petard.
DOCTOR: And where will you take your toy next?
MASTER: Does it matter? You'll not be there to greet me.
DOCTOR: I may not need to. You forget, Kamelion does have a mind of his
MASTER: He obeys only my will.
DOCTOR: Yes, but for how much longer?
MASTER: For as long as I command it. Kamelion will not turn on me.
(The Doctor tries to change Kamelion, and fails. The Master laughs.)
MASTER: You're getting old, Doctor. Your will is weak. It's time you
DOCTOR: You won't win, not ultimately.
MASTER: You're mistaken. With Kamelion's unique ability at my command,
it's only a matter of time before I undermine the key civilisations of
the universe. Chaos will reign, and I shall be its emperor.
DOCTOR: Earth is a primitive planet. You won't succeed so easily
MASTER: Where I cannot win by stealth, I shall destroy. That way I
cannot fail to win.
DOCTOR: You'll never succeed.
MASTER: Unfortunately, you will not be alive to find out. Which reminds
me. My compressor.
DOCTOR: Safely in my Tardis.
(There is a hammering at the door.)
RANULF [OC]: Your Majesty!
RANULF: Sire, you have him.
JOHN: We have him.
RANULF: Sire, they have slain my kinsman.
JOHN: Such perfidy must not go unpunished. We would have boiling oil.
See to it.
(Ranulf and Hugh leave. Turlough is still in the arms of two
DOCTOR: Yes. Yes, I'm not a demon for nothing.
MASTER: Very well, my dear Doctor. Your will against mine? So be it.
(The two Time Lords both concentrate on Kamelion, who goes blurry.
Meanwhile, Tegan finally hits the Tardis console in just the right
Ranulf and Hugh return.)
RANULF: The King! What ails the King?
MASTER: The Doctor. Kill.
(Ranulf is distracted by the Tardis materialising behind him. Kamelion
changes from King John to Tegan and the Doctor drags her away into the
Tardis. Turlough grabs a sword.)
MASTER: Do you oppose me, boy?
TURLOUGH: I've had quite enough of you, whoever you are, so don't try
me too far.
MASTER: No! Fools.
(Turlough backs into the Tardis, the door slams shut and it
MASTER: Mediaeval misfits! Don't think you've won yet, Doctor.
TEGAN: I don't believe it. Can you see it too?
TURLOUGH: Yes, I'm afraid so.
DOCTOR: Let me present Kamelion.
(Kamelion changes into its android form.)
TEGAN: What is it?
KAMELION: Who is it, if you please.
DOCTOR: Well, Tegan, it's a long story which appears to begin on
KAMELION: And who knows when it will end.
DOCTOR: Oh, it will end with the Master.
TEGAN: You're not going to leave the Master here to carry out his plan?
DOCTOR: Well, he's without Kamelion now, and he won't be on Earth for
much longer. I took the opportunity of leaving his compressor
activated. Won't do his dimension circuits much good. He could end up
anywhere except where he wants to go.
TEGAN: Rather like the Tardis, really.
(Down in the castle dungeon, the Master gets into his Iron Maiden
Tardis and dematerialises.)
TEGAN: What are we going to do with him?
DOCTOR: I don't know.
TEGAN: Well, he can't stay on board.
DOCTOR: Why not? He's harmless.
KAMELION: And very cooperative. I would make an excellent colleague.
TEGAN: Did you do that?
KAMELION: Unexpected as it may be, I do have a mind of my own.
DOCTOR: And a very fine mind it is too.
KAMELION: I would be honoured if you will allow me to stay.
DOCTOR: Of course.
DOCTOR: I apologise for Tegan's bad manners.
TEGAN: He's a machine, Doctor, just a machine. How can we be certain he
still isn't under the control of the Master?
KAMELION: That isn't possible.
TEGAN: Do you trust him?
DOCTOR: It seems you're outvoted.
KAMELION: I'm very grateful, Doctor. Where will I be quartered?
TEGAN: You can have my room, for all I care.
DOCTOR: As you wish.
TEGAN: What are you doing?
DOCTOR: I'm taking you home.
DOCTOR: Your own time. I assume that's where you'd prefer to be.
TEGAN: What are you talking about?
TURLOUGH: We were on our way to my planet, actually.
TEGAN: I don't want to go home.
DOCTOR: Of course you do. You don't have to pretend. It's a shame, of
course. There were many wonders I wanted to show you.
TEGAN: You still can.
DOCTOR: The Eye of Orion.
TEGAN: You've been there?
TURLOUGH: Yes. It is very beautiful.
DOCTOR: But you wish to return home.
TEGAN: No, I don't.
DOCTOR: You don't?
TEGAN: No. Show me the Eye of Orion, please.
DOCTOR: All right. You won't regret it, I promise you.
TEGAN: Well, aren't you going to reset the coordinates?
DOCTOR: No. That's where we're going.