Relics
Stardate: 46125.3
Original Airdate: 12 Oct, 1992

[Bridge]

(at the science stations)
DATA: Captain, I have identified the signal. It is from the USS Jenolen, a Federation transport ship reported missing in this sector seventy five years ago.
RIKER: Code one alpha zero. Ship in distress.
PICARD: Take us out of warp, Ensign. All stop.
RAGER: (a dark lady) Aye, sir.
(the ship shakes)
PICARD: Report.
WORF: We have entered a massive gravitational field, Captain.
DATA: There are no stars or other stellar bodies listed on our navigational charts. However, sensors indicate the presence of an extremely strong gravitational source in this vicinity.
PICARD: Can you localise the source of the gravitational field?
(viewscreen shows a dark grey sphere)
RIKER: Sensors?
DATA: I am having difficulty scanning the object. It appears to be approximately two hundred million kilometres in diameter.
RIKER: That's nearly as large as the Earth's orbit around the sun.
PICARD: Why didn't we detect this before now?
DATA: The object's enormous mass is causing a great deal of gravimetric interference. That might have prevented our sensors from detecting it before we dropped out of warp.
PICARD: Mister Data, could this be a Dyson Sphere?
DATA: The object does fit the general parameters of Dyson's theory.
RIKER: A Dyson Sphere?
PICARD: It's a very old theory, Number One. I'm not surprised that you haven't heard of it. In the twentieth century, a physicist called Freeman Dyson, postulated the theory that an enormous hollow sphere could be constructed around a star. This would have the advantage of harnessing all the radiant energy of that star. A population living on the interior surface would have virtually inexhaustible sources of power.
RIKER: Are you saying you think there are people living in there?
DATA: Possibly a great number of people, Commander. The interior surface area of a sphere this size is the equivalent of more than two hundred and fifty million class M planets.
WORF: Sir, I have located the distress signal. It is coming from a point in the northern hemisphere.
PICARD: Ensign Rager, put us into synchronous orbit above that position.
RAGER: Aye, sir.
(after a short while)
DATA: I have located the Jenolen, sir. It is impacted on the surface of the sphere.
PICARD: Magnify.
DATA: There are no life signs. However, there are several small power emanations, and life support is still functioning on minimal levels.
RIKER: Riker to Engineering. Geordi, join us in Transporter room three. Mister Worf.

[Jenolen]

RIKER: This air's pretty stale.
LAFORGE: Life support is barely operating.
RIKER: See if you can increase the oxygen level.
WORF: Aye, sir.
LAFORGE: Commander. The transporter is still online. It's being fed power from the auxiliary systems.
RIKER: The rematerialisation subroutine has been disabled.
LAFORGE: That's not all. The phase inducers are connected to the emitter array. The override is completely gone and the pattern buffer's been locked into a continuous diagnostic cycle.
RIKER: This doesn't make any sense. Locking the unit in a diagnostic mode just sends the matter array through the pattern buffer. Why would anyone want to
LAFORGE: There's a pattern in the buffer still.
RIKER: It's completely intact. There's less than point zero zero three percent signal degradation. How is that possible?
LAFORGE: I don't know. I've never seen a transporter jury-rigged like this.
RIKER: Could someone survive inside a transporter buffer for seventy five years?
LAFORGE: I know a way to find out.
(The portly, silver-haired, late middle-aged figure of a certain starship chief engineer materialises. He is wearing a TOS movie era uniform and his left arm in a sling)
SCOTT: Thank you, lad. We've got to get Franklin out of there.
LAFORGE: Someone else's pattern is still in the buffer?
SCOTT: Aye, lad. Franklin. We went in together. Something's wrong. One of the inducers has failed. Boost the gain on the matter stream. Come on, Franklin. I know you're still in there. It's no use. His pattern's degraded fifty three percent. He's gone.
RIKER: I'm sorry.
SCOTT: So am I. He was a good lad.
RIKER: I'm Commander William Riker, starship Enterprise. Lieutenant Commander Geordi La Forge.
SCOTT: The Enterprise? I should have known. I bet Jim Kirk himself hauled the old girl out of mothballs to come looking for me. Captain Montgomery Scott. Tell me, how long have I been missing?
RIKER: Well
WORF: Sir. I have restored life support. The oxygen levels will return to normal shortly.
RIKER: Captain Scott, Lieutenant Worf.
SCOTT: Lieutenant?
WORF: Yes.
RIKER: Captain, perhaps there are a few things we should talk about.

[Transporter room]

RIKER: We should probably get you to Sickbay. Doctor Crusher will want to
SCOTT: You've changed the resonator array.
RIKER: Geordi, I think our guest is going to have a lot of engineering questions.
LAFORGE: Not to worry, Commander. I'll take care of him, sir.
(Worf and Riker leave)
SCOTT: What have you done with the duotronic enhancers?
LAFORGE: Those were replaced with isolinear chips about forty years ago. It's a lot more efficient now. That's an EPS power tap.
SCOTT: Ah.
LAFORGE: So, you were saying earlier that you were on your way to the Norpin Colony when you had a warp engine failure?

[Corridor]

SCOTT: Aye, that's right. We had an overload in one of the plasma transfer conduits. The Captain brought us out of warp and we hit some gravimetric interference and then there it was, as big as life. Is that a conduit interface?
LAFORGE: Yeah, it is. You were saying its big as life. You mean the Dyson Sphere?
SCOTT: Aye, an actual Dyson Sphere. Can you imagine the engineering skills needed to even design such a structure?
LAFORGE: Yeah, it's pretty amazing. So, what happened when you first approached it?
SCOTT: Well, we began a standard survey of the surface, and we were just completing the initial orbital scan when our aft power coils suddenly exploded. The ship got caught in the sphere's gravity well and down we went. Franklin and I were the only ones to survive the crash.
LAFORGE: Can I ask you a question? What in the world made you think of using the transporter pattern buffer to survive?
SCOTT: Well, we didn't have enough supplies to wait for a rescue, so we had to think of something.
LAFORGE: Yeah, but locking it into a diagnostic cycle so that the pattern wouldn't degrade, and then cross-connecting it phase inducers to provide a regenerative power source, that's absolutely brilliant.
SCOTT: I think it was only fifty percent brilliant. Franklin deserved better.
LAFORGE: I think you're going to enjoy the twenty fourth century, Mister Scott. We've made some pretty incredible advances these last eighty years.
SCOTT: From what I've seen, you've got a fine ship, Mister La Forge. A real beauty here. I must admit to being a bit overwhelmed.
LAFORGE: Wait until you see the holodeck.

[Sickbay]

CRUSHER: You have a hairline fracture of the humorous. It will ache for a few days, but it should be fine.
SCOTT: Thank you. Well, I'll say this about your Enterprise. The doctors are a fair sight prettier.
PICARD: I'm Jean-Luc Picard. Welcome aboard the Enterprise, Captain Scott.
SCOTT: Thank you, sir, and call me Scotty.
PICARD: How are you feeling?
SCOTT: I don't know. How am I feeling?
CRUSHER: Other than a couple of bumps and bruises, I'd say you feel fine for a man of a hundred and forty seven.
SCOTT: I don't feel a day over a hundred and twenty.
PICARD: I must say, I was little surprised when Commander Riker told me that you were aboard the Jenolen. Our records didn't show you listed as a member of the crew.
SCOTT: Well, I was never actually a member of the crew. I was just a passenger. I was heading for Norpin Five to settle down and enjoy my retirement.
PICARD: I see. Well, I would very much enjoy the opportunity to hear you talk about your career. I'm sure you would have some fascinating insights into the events of your time.
SCOTT: I'd be happy to.
PICARD: Good. Well, I look forward to it. Excuse me. Commander, we need to begin a full spectrographic analysis of the Dyson Sphere.
LAFORGE: I'll get right on it, sir.
PICARD: Good. Once again, welcome on board, Captain.
SCOTT: Sir.
LAFORGE: I need to get down to Engineering and begin that analysis.
SCOTT: Engineering? I thought you'd never ask.
CRUSHER: Captain, the first thing you need to get is some rest. Now this has been a shock to your system, and I want you to not push yourself.
LAFORGE: We're pretty busy down there, anyway, Captain Scott. I promise I'd be happy to give you a tour just as soon as the doctor says it's okay.
CRUSHER: I'll have someone show you your quarters.
SCOTT: (disappointed) Aye.

[Scott's quarters]

KANE: This is the food replicator, and your computer terminal.
SCOTT: Good Lord, man, where have you put me?
KANE: These are standard guest quarters, sir. I can try and find something bigger if you want.
SCOTT: Bigger? In my day, even an Admiral wouldn't have had such quarters on a starship. You know, I remember a time we had to transport the Dohlman of Elaas. You never heard anyone whine and complain so much about quarters as she did.
KANE: The holodecks, Ten Forward, and the gymnasium are all at your disposal. The computer can tell you how to find them. Until we issue you a combadge, just use one of these panels if you need anything.
SCOTT: You know, these quarters remind me of a hotel room on Argelius. Oh, now there is a planet. Everything a man wants right at his fingertips. Of course, on the first visit, I got into a wee bit of trouble.
KANE: Excuse me, sir but I have to return to duty.
SCOTT: Oh. Well then. Thank you.

[Engineering]

LAFORGE: I want you to shut down the warp engines and recalibrate the aft sensors while I work on the lateral array.
BARTEL: Aye, sir.
BARTEL [OC]: Can I help you, sir?
SCOTT [OC]: Oh, I don't think so, lassie, but I'll let you know if you can.
BARTEL [OC]: Sir, this area is restricted to authorised personnel
LAFORGE: Bartel, it's okay. I'll handle it. Captain Scott, this really isn't
SCOTT: We're in Engineering. Call me Scotty.
LAFORGE: Scotty, this really isn't a good time for a tour. We're running a phase seven survey of the Dyson Sphere.
SCOTT: I'm not here for a tour, laddie. I'm here to help.
LAFORGE: That's very kind, but I'm sure we can handle it.
SCOTT: I was a Starfleet engineer for fifty two years, Mister La Forge. I think I'm still useful.
LAFORGE: You're right. We'd be grateful for any help you can give us.
SCOTT: Good. Let's get to work.

[Bridge]

DATA: Sensor readings indicate the presence of a G-type star at the centre of the sphere. There also appears to be a class-M atmosphere clinging to the interior surface.
PICARD: Is there any indication that the sphere is inhabited?
DATA: Not as yet, sir. Our preliminary data suggests it is still capable of supporting life. We have been unable to find definite signs of current habitation.
PICARD: Mister Data, send out a series of class-four probes to survey the far side of the sphere. Perhaps we'll have more luck with them.
DATA: Aye, sir.

[Engineering]

LAFORGE: Adjust the frequency stabilisation on the main deflector dish. It's out of synch with the aft sensors.
SCOTT: Laddie, you need to phase-lock the warp fields within three percent or they'll become unstable.
LAFORGE: What?
SCOTT: Well look here. The warp field is
(the computer rejects his commands)
LAFORGE: We use a multiphase auto-containment field now. It's meant to operate above three percent.
SCOTT: Oh. Well, that would make the difference.
BARTEL: We can re start the engines in ten minutes, Commander.
LAFORGE: Thank you, Lieutenant.
SCOTT: I remember a time when the old Enterprise was spiralling in toward Psi two thousand.
LAFORGE: Thank you.
SCOTT: The Captain wanted to try a cold start of the warp engines. I told him that without a proper phase lock it would take at least thirty minutes You canna change the laws of physics, I told him, but he wouldn't believe me, so I had to come up with a new engine start-up routine. Do you know that your dilithium crystals are going to fracture?
LAFORGE: We recomposite the crystals while they're still inside the articulation frame. Look, Mister Scott, I'd love to explain everything to you, but the Captain wants this spectrographic analysis done by thirteen hundred hours.
SCOTT: Do you mind a little advice? Starfleet captains are like children. They want everything right now and they want it their way, but the secret is to give them only what they need, not what they want.
LAFORGE: Yeah, well I told the Captain I'd have this analysis done in an hour.
SCOTT: How long will it really take?
LAFORGE: An hour.
SCOTT: You didn't tell him how long it would really take, did you?
LAFORGE: Of course I did.
SCOTT: Oh, laddie, you've got a lot to learn if you want people to think of you as a miracle worker. Now listen
LAFORGE: Captain Scott. I've tried to be patient, I've tried to be polite. But I've got a job to do here, and quite frankly, you're in the way.
SCOTT: I was driving starships while your great-grandfather was still in diapers. I'd think you'd be a little grateful for a some help. I'll leave ye to work, Mister La Forge.

[Ten Forward]

WAITER: May I help you, sir?
SCOTT: Aye, lad. Scotch, neat.
WAITER: There you go, sir.
SCOTT: Thank you.
(takes a drink)
SCOTT: What in blazes is this?
WAITER: Didn't you order Scotch?
SCOTT: Laddie, I was drinking Scotch a hundred years before you were born and I can tell you that whatever this is, it is definitely not Scotch.
DATA: I believe I may be of some assistance. Captain Scott is unaware of the existence of synthehol.
SCOTT: Synthehol?
DATA: Yes, sir. It is an alcohol substitute now being served aboard starships. It simulates the appearance, taste and smell of alcohol, but the intoxicating affects can be easily dismissed.
SCOTT: You're not quite human, are you?
DATA: No, sir. I am an android. Lieutenant Commander Data.
SCOTT: Synthetic Scotch, synthetic commanders.
DATA: I believe Guinan does keep a limited supply of non-syntheholic products. Perhaps one of them would be to your liking.
(Data goes behind the bar and comes out with a bottle)
SCOTT: What is it?
DATA: It is (looks at bottle) It is (sniffs contents) It is green.
(Scott drinks)
SCOTT: Ah!

[Corridor]

(bottle and glass in hand, Scott walks carefully to the holodeck)
COMPUTER: Please enter programme.
SCOTT: The android at the bar said you could show me my old ship. Let me see it.
COMPUTER: Insufficient data. Please specify parameters.
SCOTT: The Enterprise. Show me the Bridge of the Enterprise, you chattering piece of
COMPUTER: There have been five Federation ships with that name. Please specify by registry number.
SCOTT: NCC One Seven Oh One. No bloody A, B, C, or D.
COMPUTER: Programme complete. Enter when ready.

[NCC1701 Bridge]

(Complete with sound effect, they did a great job of recreating it for us. The viewscreen has the ubiquitous orange planet on it. Scott goes to his old station and pours a drink.)
SCOTT: Here's to you, lads.
PICARD: I hope I'm not interrupting. I was just coming off duty and I wanted to see how you were doing.
SCOTT: Not at all, not at all. Have a drink with me, Captain.
PICARD: Thank you.
SCOTT: I don't know what it is, exactly, but I would be real careful. It's real
(Picard knocks it back in one)
PICARD: Aldebaran whiskey. Who do you think gave it to Guinan?
SCOTT: Ah.
PICARD: Constitution class.
SCOTT: Aye. You're familiar with them?
PICARD: There's one in the Fleet museum, but then of course, this is your Enterprise?
SCOTT: I actually served on two. This was the first. She was also the first ship I ever served on as Chief Engineer. You know, I served aboard eleven ships. Freighters, cruisers, starships, but this is the only one I think of. The only one I miss.
PICARD: The first ship I ever served aboard as Captain was called the Stargazer. It was an overworked, underpowered vessel, always on the verge of flying apart at the seams. In every measurable sense, my Enterprise is far superior. But there are times when I would give almost anything to command the Stargazer again.
SCOTT: It's like the first time you fall in love. You don't ever love a woman quite like that again. Well, to the Enterprise and the Stargazer. Old girlfriends we'll never meet again.
PICARD: What do you think of the Enterprise D?
SCOTT: She's a beauty, with a good crew.
PICARD: But?
SCOTT: But. When I was here, I could tell you the speed that we were traveling by the feel of the deckplates. But on your ship, I feel like I'm just in the way.
PICARD: Seventy five years is a long time. If you would care to study some technical schematics or
SCOTT: I'm not eighteen. I can't start out like a raw cadet. No, there comes a time when a man finds that he can't fall in love again. He knows that it's time to stop. I don't belong on your ship. I belong on this one. This was my home. This is where I had a purpose. But it's not real. It's just a computer generated fantasy. And I'm just an old man who's trying to hide in it. Computer, shut this bloody thing off. It's time I acted my age.

[Ready room]

PICARD: Come.
(Geordi enters)
PICARD: Mister La Forge, I understand that before the Jenolen crashed, it had conducted an extensive survey of the Dyson sphere. Have we been able to access any of those records?
LAFORGE: We did try to download their memory core, but it was pretty heavily damaged in the crash. We actually haven't been able to get much out of it.
PICARD: Perhaps Captain Scott could be of use in accessing that material.
LAFORGE: It's possible. He does know those systems better than any of us. I'll have Lieutenant Bartel beam down with him.
PICARD: Mister La Forge, I would like you to accompany Captain Scott.
LAFORGE: Me, sir?
PICARD: Yes. Look, this is not an order, it's a request and it's one which you must feel perfectly free to decline. You see, one of the most important things in a person's life is to feel useful. Now, Mister Scott is a Starfleet officer and I would like him to feel useful again.
LAFORGE: I'll go with him, sir.
PICARD: Thank you.

[Bridge]

DATA: Commander, I believe I have found something on the sphere which could be a communications device. There's an antenna array approximately four hundred thousand kilometres south of our present position. It is emitting low intensity subspace signals.
RIKER: Can you open a channel?
DATA: No, sir, not from our present orbit. The array is currently directed away from us.
RIKER: Ensign, prepare to put us in orbit above those coordinates. Captain Picard to the Bridge, please.

[Transporter room]

LAFORGE: Are you feeling all right?
SCOTT: Never get drunk unless you're willing to pay for it the next day. I'll manage.
LAFORGE: Okay. Energise.

[Bridge]

DATA: Sensors indicate that the large circle is a portal or airlock, possibly leading to the interior of the sphere.
RIKER: This looks like the front door. Should we ring the bell?
PICARD: Mister Worf, open a channel to that communications array.
WORF: Aye, sir.
(there's a jolt, and Red alert goes off)
DATA: Some type of tractor beam has locked onto us.
RIKER: Helm, get us out of here!
RAGER: We've lost main power. Auxiliary power down to twenty percent.
(the viewscreen shows four beams pulling the Enterprise towards the opening spacedoors)
WORF: We're being pulled inside.
RAGER: Auxiliary power failing.
DATA: The resonance frequency of the tractor beams is incompatible with our power systems. Warp and impulse engine relays have been overloaded. I am attempting to compensate.
(Enterprise is slung into inner space)
RAGER: The tractor beams have released us, sir.
RIKER: Hold position here until we can get our bearings.
PICARD: Full sensor sweep, Mister Data. Where are we?
DATA: Approximately ninety million kilometres from the star's photosphere. I am reading a great deal of surface instability. It may be
RAGER: Sir! The inertial motion from the tractor beams is still carrying us forward. Impulse engines are offline and I can't stop our momentum. We're falling directly into the star.

[Jenolen]

SCOTT: The primary computer database should be online now. Give it a try.
LAFORGE: Okay. I've got three access lines to the central core. Still nothing.
SCOTT: Bunch of old, useless, garbage.
LAFORGE: Huh?
SCOTT: I say it's old, Mister La Forge. It can't handle the interface of your power converter. This equipment was designed for a different era. Now it's just a piece of junk.
LAFORGE: I don't know. It seems like some of it's held together pretty well.
SCOTT: A century out of date. It's just obsolete.
LAFORGE: Well you know, that's interesting because I was just thinking that a lot of these systems haven't changed much in the last seventy five years. This transporter is basically the same system we use on the Enterprise. Subspace radio and sensors still operate under the same basic principle. Impulse engine design hasn't changed much in the last two hundred years. If it wasn't for all the structural damage, this ship might still be in service today.
SCOTT: Maybe so, but when they can build ships like your Enterprise, who'd want to pilot an old bucket like this?
LAFORGE: I don't know. If this ship were operational I bet she'd run circles around the Enterprise at impulse speeds. Just because something's old doesn't mean you throw it away.
SCOTT: We used to have something called a dynamic mode converter. You wouldn't have something like that on your Enterprise would you?
LAFORGE: I haven't seen anything like that in a long time, but I bet I might be able to come up with something similar. La Forge to Enterprise. La Forge to Enterprise, come in, please.
SCOTT: Interference?
LAFORGE: No, they're gone.

[Bridge]

DATA: We will enter the sun's photosphere in three minutes.
PICARD: Manoeuvring thrusters?
RIKER: I've got thirty percent power. It won't be enough to stop us.
PICARD: No, but it may be enough to turn us into orbit, hold our distance from the photosphere. Ensign, port thrusters ahead full, starboard thrusters back full.
DATA: Our flight path is changing. Right ten point seven degrees, sir. Insufficient to clear the photosphere.
RIKER: Lieutenant Bartel, divert all power from auxiliary relay systems to the manoeuvring thrusters.
BARTEL [OC]: Aye, sir.
RAGER: We're in orbit, Captain. Our altitude is one hundred fifty thousand kilometres.
RIKER: I'll see about getting main power back online.
PICARD: Very well. Mister Data, begin a scan of the interior surface for life forms. I want to know who brought us in here and why.
DATA: Aye, sir.

[Jenolen]

LAFORGE: I can't find them anywhere in orbit.
SCOTT: They could've crashed into the sphere like the Jenolen.
LAFORGE: No, we'd be picking up background radiation if they'd gone down.
SCOTT: There's another possibility. They could be inside the sphere.
LAFORGE: Maybe. Whatever happened, we've got to find them. If we can get these engines back online, we could track them with their impulse ion trail.
SCOTT: Are ye daft? The main drive assembly's shot, the inducers are melted, and the power couplings are wrecked. We'd need a week just to get started. But we don't have a week, so there's no sense in crying about it. Come on, We'll see what we can do with your power converter.

[Bridge]

DATA: The sphere appears to be abandoned. Sensors show that the star is extremely unstable. It is experiencing severe bursts of radiation and matter expulsions.
PICARD: Then that would explain why they abandoned it. But if there's no one still living there, how were we brought inside?
DATA: I believe we triggered a series of automatic piloting beams designed to guide ships into the sphere.
WORF: Sir, Sensors show a large magnetic disturbance on the star's surface.
DATA: It is a solar flare, Captain. Magnitude twelve, class B.
PICARD: Shields?
WORF: Shields are up, but only at twenty three percent.
DATA: The star has entered a period of increased activity. Sensors indicate that the solar flares will continue to grow. In three hours, our shields will no longer be sufficient to protect us, sir.

[Jenolen]

SCOTT: Shunt the deuterium from the main cryo-pump to the auxiliary tank.
LAFORGE: The tank can't withstand that kind of pressure.
SCOTT: Where'd you get that idea?
LAFORGE: What do you mean, where did I get that idea? It's in the impulse engine specifications.
SCOTT: Regulation forty two slash fifteen, pressure variances on IRC tank storage?
LAFORGE: Yeah.
SCOTT: Forget it. I wrote it. A good engineer is always a wee bit conservative, at least on paper. Just bypass the secondary cut-off valve and boost the flow. It'll work.
LAFORGE: Okay.
SCOTT: If we've done our jobs properly, the engines should be coming back online about now.
LAFORGE: Hey, you were right. The auxiliary tank is holding.
SCOTT: Take the Bridge, Commander.
LAFORGE: Oh, no, you're the senior officer here.
SCOTT: I may be captain by rank, but I never wanted to be anything else but an engineer.
LAFORGE: All right.

[Bridge]

(the Enterprise glows orange in close orbit of the star)
WORF: Shields still holding, sir, but they are down another fifteen percent.
PICARD: Mister Worf, can we use the phasers to open a hole in the sphere?
WORF: No, sir. The exterior shell is composed of carbon neutronium. Our weapons would be ineffective.
PICARD: Mister Data, we have to find some way out of here. Begin scanning for another hatch or portal that might still be open.
DATA: The interior surface area is over ten to the sixteenth square kilometres. It will take seven hours to completely scan the surface.
(big shudder)
DATA: I will endeavour to speed up the process, sir.

[Jenolen]

(outside the main sphere hatch, and looking at short range scan 0407.7)
SCOTT: The Enterprise ion trail leads right to this point.
LAFORGE: It looks like some kind of doorway.
SCOTT: I'll bet you two bottles of Scotch that they're inside the sphere and that they went in right through that hatch.
LAFORGE: No bet here. The question is how?
SCOTT: Look at the momentum distribution of the ions. It would take an impulse engine at full reverse to put out a signature like that.
LAFORGE: So they didn't go in willingly. This looks like some kind of communications array.
SCOTT: Aye. We found hundreds of them when we did our initial survey seventy five years ago.
LAFORGE: Did you try hailing them?
SCOTT: Aye. That was standard procedure at the time. We did it right before we crashed.
LAFORGE: Hailing is standard procedure today, too. Scotty, what if those aren't communications arrays? What if they're access terminals which are triggered by subspace signals on certain frequencies.
SCOTT: Frequencies like our standard ship's hail.
LAFORGE: Exactly. The Enterprise, when they saw that terminal, they probably did the same thing you did seventy five years ago. Opened a channel. Only this time they triggered something that activated that hatch and pulled the ship inside the sphere.
SCOTT: Very nice piece of reasoning, laddie. Nice indeed.
LAFORGE: Yeah. We could probably trigger the hatch ourselves, only we'd get pulled in like they were.
SCOTT: Maybe all we need to do is to get our foot in the door. We might not be pulled inside when the hatch opens if we keep our distance from the sphere. Say, half million kilometres. Then when the hatch starts to close, we move in and we use the Jenolen to jam the hatch open, hoping that the Enterprise will escape.
LAFORGE: You can't be serious. That hatch is huge. It'll crush this ship like an egg.
SCOTT: Geordi, the shields will hold. Don't worry about that. I can get a few extra gigawatts out of these babies.
LAFORGE: Scotty, it's crazy.
SCOTT: Geordi. I have spent my whole life trying to figure out crazy ways of doing things. I'm telling you, as one engineer to another, I can do this.
LAFORGE: All right. Let's do it. (later)
LAFORGE: We're at five hundred thousand kilometres.
SCOTT: Engines are ready.
LAFORGE: Okay. Here we go.
(the four beams shoot out and start searching for something to lock on to as the spacedoors open)
LAFORGE: Come on. There's nothing out here. Give it up.
(the beams cut out and the doors start to close again)
LAFORGE: That's it. Let's go! Full impulse.
(the Jenolen parks in the doorway, shields glistening as the spacedoors press against them)

[Bridge]

WORF: Sir, there is an audio message from Commander La Forge.
LAFORGE [OC]: La Forge to Enterprise, do you read me?
PICARD: Go ahead, Commander. We read you.

[Jenolen]

LAFORGE: We're using the Jenolen to hold open the hatch that you came through, but our shields aren't going to hold out much longer.

[Bridge]

PICARD: Understood. Ensign, set a course.

[Jenolen]

SCOTT: The plasma intercooler's gone. The engines are overheating.
LAFORGE: I've lost helm control. La Forge to Enterprise. Captain, we're not going to be able to move this ship out of the way when you get here.

[Bridge]

LAFORGE [OC]: You're going to have to destroy it in order to escape.
PICARD: How much longer before we reach them?
DATA: With impulse engines operating at sixty percent power, it will take one minute and forty seconds.
PICARD: Bridge to Transporter room three. Prepare to beam two from the Jenolen as soon as we're within range.

[Jenolen]

SCOTT: It's coming apart, Lad. I can't do anything else.

[Bridge]

WORF: Photon torpedoes armed and ready, sir.
DATA: We are within transporter range.
PICARD: Bridge to Transporter room. Energise.
CHIEF [OC]: Aye, sir.
PICARD: Fire torpedoes.
(KaBOOM! And the spacedoors start to close. Enterprise gracefully swoops through the remaining gap and the doors clang shut behind them)

[Transporter room]

SCOTT: There now, that wasn't so bad, was it?

Captain's log, stardate 46125.3. Starfleet has dispatched two science vessels to study the Dyson Sphere while we proceed to Starbase fifty five.

[Corridor]

LAFORGE: So, this alien space baby, which was about the size of a four story building, really thought the Enterprise was its mother.
SCOTT: You're pulling an old man's leg.
LAFORGE: No, really. It was suckling power directly from the ship's fusion reactors, so Doctor Brahms and I changed the power frequency from twenty one centimetres to point oh two centimetres.
SCOTT: You soured the milk.
LAFORGE: That's right.
SCOTT: Enjoy these times, Geordi. You're the chief engineer of a starship, and it's a time of your life that'll never come again. When it's gone, it's gone. Now, lad, I thought you were going to buy me a drink in Ten Forward.
LAFORGE: Actually, I had a better idea.

[Shuttlebay]

(the senior staff are gathered by a shuttlecraft)
SCOTT: You're giving me one of your shuttles?
PICARD: Well, call it an extended loan. Since you lost your ship saving ours, it seemed only fair.
RIKER: She's not much to look at.
SCOTT: Laddie, every woman has her own charm. You just have to know where to look for it.
LAFORGE: She's a little slow, but she'll certainly get you to the Norpin colony. If that's really where you want to go.
SCOTT: The Norpin Colony is for old men to retire. Maybe someday I'll end up there, but not yet.
PICARD: Well, bon voyage, Mister Scott.
SCOTT: Thank you, sir, for everything.
(each says their personal farewell and leaves)
DATA: Mister Scott.
TROI: Goodbye.
SCOTT: Bye, bye. (a kiss on the cheek)
RIKER: Scotty.
SCOTT: Thank you.
CRUSHER: (with a hug) Bye. Be well.
(just a wary look at Worf, then Scott and Geordi go to the shuttle's rear door)
SCOTT: A good crew.
LAFORGE: Yeah, they are.
SCOTT: A fine ship. A credit to her name. But I've always found that a ship is only as good as the engineer who takes care of her, and from what I can see the Enterprise is in good hands.
LAFORGE: You take care of yourself out there.
SCOTT: Aye.

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