[Corridor]

GWYN: Don't let him get away! You can't run forever, Dal.
ZERO: You have to trust us.
DAL: Not a chance!
POG: This ought to be quick.
DAL: Jankom! Gwyn! Zee! Please! My real friends would never do this.
POG: Who says you're Jankom's friend?
DAL: Ah!

[24 hours earlier - Holodeck]

EMH: I don't know what mischief's afoot in here, but need I remind you, you all remain under restricted access?
DAL: Sorry, Doc. We're so deep in our astrometric studies, we barely noticed you come in.
EMH: Ah ha. Well, carry on. There may be hope for you Academy hopefuls yet.
DAL: We gotta lock that. Where were we?
GWYN: The nebula I saw in the Observer's message, it matches this to a T. And there's only one planet Chakotay and the Protostar could be on. This Class O planetoid disappeared from stellar charts years ago, but if my situation has shown me anything, the truth is more than we can see with our eyes.
ROK: If the Protostar really is with Chakotay on this hidden planet, we can return the ship to Tars Lamora, fix the timeline, and save Gwen!
DAL: Just one problem. We're still on lockdown.
ZERO: Technically, we're not Starfleet yet, and the Infinity could make the journey undetected.
ROK: Maybe we should ask the Admiral for help. She wants to save Chakotay more than anyone, and with the wormhole closed, this could be our best shot.
DAL: Janeway won't let us take her ship for a joyride to chase a ghost. And if Starfleet says no, our mission's over before we even start. And if we wait around to find whoever sent that message, it may be too late. Better to ask forgiveness than permission.
ROK: You want to steal a ship again? I'm sensing a pattern here.
DAL: Borrow. It was always borrowing.
GWYN: Steal, borrow, doesn't matter. Once they realise we're missing, Voyager will send a search party.
ZERO: Unless we're back before anyone even knows we're gone. Jankom and I are working on just such a solution. Inspired by the Doctor's holo-novel, we decided to make hologram copies of ourselves.
POG: Surprise! Fooled ya, didn't we?
HOLO-POG: It was a two-for-pog special.
DAL: Wait a minute! So this one is...
POG: A holo-double.
HOLO-POG: Yeah.
POG: Programmed by yours truly, and none of you had a clue. Behold! Perfection!
HOLO-POG: Per-perfect. Clue? Per-percussive tusks. M-m-maintenance pod?
POG: Huh? Okay, still tweaking the dialogue, but er... one sec.
DAL: Er, real Jankom. Last I checked, we could touch stuff. Who's this gonna fool?
ROK: I could probably tidy up the code.
DAL: Now that sounds like a plan. Rok, help these two make our holo-doubles less... glitchtastic, so they can stay behind and cover for us. The rest of us will look into borrowing the Infinity.
ROK: Put on some hot cocoa. It's gonna be a long night.

[Outside the cargo hold]

GWYN: I don't see how we can get into the hangar with so many people around. Can we even take a shuttle without them noticing?
(Murf burbles.)
GWYN: If you say so.
DAL: Wait, did you just understand him?
GWYN: Sort of. I've been working on a basic system. That gurgle either meant yes, or... Talaxian burrito.
DAL: Ah!
TYSESS: If it isn't our wayward warrant officers. I was looking for you.
DAL: Commander. Hey. Didn't see you there.
TYSESS: Do you know what I just found?
DAL+GWYN: No...
TYSESS: There's no valid excuse for losing a tricorder. So imagine my surprise to find one of yours, tossed on the floor of the Infinity like garbage.
DAL: Of course. Didn't know I lost it in there. Won't happen again, sir.
TYSESS: No, it won't, considering the Infinity is about to be destroyed.
DAL: What! But we're gonna... I mean...
GWYN: Sorry. You know Dal. He gets very attached to any ship he's been on.
TYSESS: Right. Perhaps he should schedule a session with Counsellor Noum to discuss that. Listen. We're not destroying that ship because of you. Starfleet's ordered us to erase all evidence of our classified mission, especially a cloaking ship whose very existence violates three Federation treaties.
DAL: Psst. Why not just cloak it? I mean, who'd know the difference? Am I right?
TYSESS: (pause, laughs) Well, if you'd like to watch the send-off, the Infinity will be launched into a Class B hypergiant at 0800 hours. The heat of a blue sun will make short work of it.
DAL: 0800. Got it. Thanks, Commander.
GWYN: Well, there goes our plan.
DAL: No. This is exactly the in we were looking for. We just need to get on board the Infinity before 0800 when Janeway's crew launches it. They planned our escape for us.
GWYN: Er, did you miss the part where it's hurled into a star?
DAL: That's what I'm banking on. Voyager thinks the ship is destroyed while... while we cloak it and fly away before we fry away. Did you get it? Fry...
GWYN: Yeah, I got it, but that doesn't give us much time to get our holograms ready.
DAL: Yeah, what Murf said.
GWYN: Let's hope Rok has made some progress.

[Holodeck - Protostar bridge]

DAL: Whoa. It looks so...real.
GWYN: Feeling nostalgic, Rok?
ROK: It's just...easier to think here. And hey, you're just in time to see the results. Crew, to the bridge.
DAL: Wild. It's like looking in a mirror. And they're solid now?
HOLO-DAL: Er, excuse me. Get your hands out of my face.
POG: Yep. Thanks to Rok, these holo-dupes are the deluxe models. Personality engrams, fully loaded and coded. Subroutines guaranteed to pass lifescans. All physically identical to their bio-inspirations.
HOLO-DAL: Nice try, but nobody can measure up to the real deal.
DAL: He looks good. I think you overdid it on the cockiness.
GWYNS: Nope, that's spot on.
GWYN: Hey!
HOLO-POG: Somebody expecting company?
JANEWAY [OC]: Dal, this is Admiral Janeway. May I come in? I'd like to chat.

[Outside the holodeck]

EMH: I am so excited for you to see their progress under my mentorship. They've been nothing but honest open and cooperative. Usually. Dal, the door seems to be locked.
DAL [OC]: Just a minute. Tidying up.

[Holodeck]

GWYN: Don't let them see the holograms.
HOLO-ROK: Murf.
GWYN: Turn them off.
ROK: The AI needs to finish calibration. If we disable them now, all our work will be lost.
DAL: Holograms, shoo. Hide yourselves.
HOLO-DAL: Who you calling hologram, hologram?
ROK: Well, if they thought they were holograms, they'd blow our cover.
DAL: I'll handle Janeway. Just get that doppel-Dal out of sight.

[Outside the holodeck]

JANWEAY: Perhaps something's wrong. Janeway override. Access code...
DAL: Janeway! Doc! Please, come in.

[Holodeck]

JANEWAY: The Protostar. I'm sorry if I'm interrupting.
DAL: Just a stroll down memory lane.
(Murf gives Janeway a mug of coffee.)
JANEWAY: I'm impressed with how you're handling everything. That mission took a toll on us all. I just wanted to reassure you, no one could have predicted this paradox would occur. But I promise, the Federation will find a way to fix this.
DAL: Thanks. That means a lot.
EMH: In the meantime, it's good to see that phase discriminator continues to keep you in one place.
GWYN: This isn't over. We'll find a way, Admiral.
EMH: The Admiral and I are doing everything we can to find a cure for your phase-shifting condition.
ROK: Don't worry, we're going to bring back Chakotay and the Protostar.
JANEWAY: I appreciate your optimism, but this is a task for Starfleet now. Finding the Protostar and restoring the timeline is bigger than anything you or I can do. Our new orders are to return Voyager to Earth. But take heart in knowing that faith is never futile.
POG: Jankom's ready.
JANEWAY: Very good. As you were.
(Janeway and EMH leave.)
DAL: You can come out now. I can't believe that worked.
ZERO: A total success. The Admiral had no suspicions they were holograms.
POG: Rok really outdid herself.
ROKS: Thank you!
DAL: Hey, so how can we tell ourselves apart? It's kind of creepy, you know?
ROK: We can't. They're identical to us in every way. Holo-Zero can even read the other holograms' minds.
DAL: Oh. Wow. Okay. Anyway, let's focus. We've got work to do. In two hours, our ride gets extra crispy, so let's keep the holograms here, prep for the Infinity heist, and meet before launch.
POG: Er...
DAL: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

[Corridor]

HOLO-DAL: Holograms are locked up. Time to prep for the Infinity heist.
HOLO-POG: Let's roll!
COMPUTER: All hands, T-minus two hours to Infinity launch.
DAL: Rok, they think they're us. You programmed them too well.
ROK: You said to make them undetectable. Now I'm bad for getting an A++?
GWYN: This is a problem. A huge one.
POG: Ah, this ship ain't big enough for two Jankoms.
ZERO: If they think we're the holograms, they'll no doubt be plotting their escape on board our getaway ship.
ROK: But they're designed to only exist on Voyager. If the holograms escape on the Infinity...
DAL: They blip out, and our ticket out of here really does go up in flames.
POG: Right along with our only chance to save Gwyn.
GWYN: We have one hour till the Infinity's launched. If we run into those holo-fakes, how do we know who's who?
DAL: We all track down our own doubles. Once we get them back here, we'll sort this out with time to spare.
ZERO: Yes.

[Cargo bay]

DAL: Hey, Zee, still no sign of holo-me. Any luck on your end?
HOLO-ZERO: Luck with what, exactly?
DAL: Wait, you are the real Zero, aren't you?
HOLO-ZERO: Who else would I be?
DAL: A hologram. So, er, are you?
HOLO-ZERO: Dal! I assure you, I am quite real.
DAL: Just what a hologram would say.
HOLO-ZERO: Perhaps you are the facsimile. I can't read your mind. Oh my. Rogue holograms. I must warn the others.

[Corridor]

HOLO-ZERO: Whoopsie. We've got a problem. Our duplicates have escaped the holodeck.
HOLO-DAL: Urgh.
DAL: Wait, wait.
HOLO-ZERO: Oh my, he looks irate. Good luck, Dal.
(Both Dals draw phasers.)
DALS: Hold it right there, pal. You're not the real Dal. I'm only trying to help. Stop copying me, holo-Dal.
(They shoot the phasers out of each others hands.)
DALS: This isn't over.

[Voyager]

DAL: Okay, team, I just ran into myself.
HOLO-DAL: Get off of this channel, you phony.
DAL: You're the phony, phony.
COMPUTER: All hands, T minus 30 minutes to Infinity launch.
DALS: Gah! I don't have time for this.

[Corridor]

(Humming La Donna e Mobile, the EMH encounters two Murfs.)
EMH: Huh?

[Elsewhere]

ZERO: Here we go. So many duplicate com badge signatures, but which ones are genuine?
MAJ'EL: Oh, my apologies. Let me get that.
ZERO: Um, I don't have time to chat.
MAJ'EL: I see. I know that I have been distant lately, and I am sorry. I...
(The other Zero crosses the end of the corridor.)
ZERO: Oopsies. Another time? I'm not feeling myself today.

[Mess hall]

HOLO-POG: Guys, we're running out of time.
POG: Jankom couldn't agree more, which is why we need to settle this here and now.
HOLO-POG: What was Jankom thinking?
POG: A test. This food replicator is busted. Only the real Jankom has the percussive genius to be able to...
HOLO-POG: Fix it? Jankom's got it in the bag. Step aside, im-Pog-ster. Fingers are a bit buttery. Somebody really did a number on this thing. Gotta have the magic touch.
(Hits the side of the replicator. It works.)
HOLO-POG: Oh, milkshake? Looks like holo-Jankom could use one.
POG: But if you're Jankom, then... Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

[Corridor]

POG: If Jankom isn't Jankom, then how does Jankom know if Jankom's real? Oh, no. This is a Pog-pocalypse.
NOUM: Are you okay? Maybe we should pop into my office and talk about this.
POG: There's no time!
NOUM: Oh, whatever. My shift's over anyway. Load tropical island retreat. Set hot tub to extra bubbles.

[Cetacean ops]

ROK: Look, we both clearly have a conundrum here. In theory, you aren't real. But no way to know for sure, unless...
HOLO-ROK: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
ROK: We put our heads together to find another way?
BOTH: Yay! Team Rok!

[Corridor]

DAL: Gwyn, this is insane! I don't even know who to trust any more!
HOLO-GWYN: Same. New plan. We have to team up and take them down one by one. I saw the other Dal run through here.
(Turbolift opens.)
HOLO-GWYN: Here he is. Grab him.
DAL: What? You're not Gwyn.
HOLO-GWYN: Don't let him get away. You can't run forever, Dal.
HOLO-ZERO: You have to trust us.
DAL: Not a chance.
HOLO-POG: Who says you're Jankom's friend?
DAL: Please! My real friends would never do this.
HOLO-GWYN: Is this what you call a fair fight?
(Fire extinguisher.)
DAL: That was... You're totally...
HOLO-GWYN: Out of time.
JANEWAY: Assigned personnel report to the shuttle bay. Ten minutes until the Infinity launch.
HOLO-GWYN: Quick! Tie him up!
HOLO-DAL: Never bring trilon rope to a phaser fight.
POG: Whoo hoo. We got ourselves a Hanonian pickle.
ROKS: Wait!
ROK 1: Everyone wants the mission to succeed, right?
ROK 2: Then follow us.
ROK 1: We found a solution.
ROKS: Together.

[Holodeck - Protostar]

DAL 1: I got my eye on you.
DAL 2: Yeah, well, right back at you.
ROK 1: Time is short, and only six of us can leave this ship.
ROK 2: Luckily, there is a simple solution, but it requires all of our cooperation. The AI are fully calibrated, so if we overload the ship's holo-matrix, the holograms will reboot here with no memory of the mission to get the Protostars.
DAL: Smart. That way the real crew has time to escape to the Infinity.
COMPUTER: T minus three minutes to launch.
DAL 2: Do it, Rok. Reboot these fakers so we can get to that ship.
ROKS: And resetting... now.

[Sickbay]

EMH: I'm putting an analgesic cream on your eyelids. Don't open your eyes until...
(Disappears.)

[Holodeck]

Noum falls to the floor.) NOUM: Ah! Lost my place.

[Holodeck - Protostar]

GWYN: Dal?
POG: Jankom is Jankom, after all! Oh, existential crisis averted.
ZERO: Now onto the next crisis. The Infinity is launching.

[Corridor]

DAL: We can make it! Keep moving!
EMH: Ah. Glad I caught you all. A ship-wide glitch rebooted my programme, so I'm a bit out of sorts. Have I tutored you yet today?
DAL: We really have to get...
MAJ'EL: Pardon, Doctor, but I heard that you are a skilled opera singer, open to giving vocal lessons.
EMH: I would be delighted. Have you ever heard me sing Questa o quella? It's a must. Come along.
MAJ'EL: Lead the way. Holodeck one, perhaps?
ZERO: Thank you, but I was not aware you were musically inclined. Why lie?
MAJ'EL: I merely suggested, and it is important to help one's real friends, [OC] especially one as fascinating as you.
ZERO: Oh, I, well...
DAL: Sorry! Gotta go!

[Shuttlebay]

ROK: The Infinity! We're too late.

[Bridge]

JANEWAY: This seems fitting. Chakotay always loved a blue sun.
TYSESS: I spoke with Dal. He seemed upset by all this.
JANEWAY: They've shown such resilience in the face of so much disappointment.
TYSESS: You're not wrong. Most cadets would buckle under the stress those kids have endured in such a short time.
JANEWAY: They cling to hope like only the young can. Maybe we could all learn something from that in the journey ahead.

[Infinity]

DAL: Nice one, Gwyn. Never would have thought to mask an emergency transport. Cutting it a little close, though.
GWYN: You're not the only one who can think on their feet.
POG: Who turns on the heat, right?
GWYN: Ha! That's gotta mean Talaxian burrito.
DAL: Hey, Pog. We're out of Voyager scanner range. Anytime.
POG: Jankom always says, you can't rush greatness. But here we go!
DAL: Mystery spiral nebula, here we come.
ROK: And our doubles should be powering back on now. Hmm. Tiny irregularity, but it's probably nothing.

[Holodeck]

HOLO-DAL: (Zero) Curious. Does anyone recall what brought us all to the holodeck? Ah, well, another mystery, perhaps.
HOLO-ROK: (Pog) Well, if you're done wasting Rok-Tahk's time, she's got some percussive maintenance to do in Cetacean Ops.
HOLO-POG: (Rok) I think you're gonna do a wonderful job, Rok. Those whales are so cute, I could just hug them.
(Holo-Gwyn Murf-burbles.)
HOLO-ZERO: (Dal) Couldn't have said it better myself, Gwyn. Let's jet before the Doctor gives us more homework.