[Viewscreen]

RONT: I'm Sylvia Ront, and this is FNN's continuing coverage of the destruction of Pakled Planet. What we know at this hour. Starfleet Captain Carol Freeman stands accused of orchestrating a devastating attack on the Pakled capital, a place they call, quote, Big Strong City. The USS Cerritos remains in spacedock, impounded for further investigation. Her crew, on temporary leave while their captain stands trial.
REPORTER: Why would Freeman do this?
RANSOM: No comment.
REPORTER: What did you hear?
RANSOM: I said no comment. Please, a little respect.
REPORTER 2 Did she hate Pakleds?
T'ANA: Get the fuck out of our way!
RONT: And the latest shocking development. New surveillance footage retrieved from the attack that appears to place Freeman on the ground at the time of the bomb. In lighter news, a swarm of incandescent Verugament will be illuminating Earth tomorrow...

[Freeman home]

(The viewscreen gets smashed.)
ADMIRAL: Beckett! Screens can just be turned off, you know.
MARINER: I can't take this anymore. Everyone's acting like the trial's already over, when there is no way that Mom did anything wrong.
ADMIRAL: Look, you and I both know that, and plenty of people in the courtroom know it, too. You just need to be patient and trust in the system.
MARINER: Oh, you mean the same system that's now putting her on trial? Oh, yeah, yeah, I frickin' love the system.
ADMIRAL: Ah, ah, ah. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Why don't you go out for bit? We don't get home that often. You can maybe go for a walk, breathe some non-recycled air.
MARINER: Home for you. I didn't grow up here.
ADMIRAL: I just meant Earth. It's rare that you get back here.
MARINER: Argh, the longer I'm off a ship, the more useless I feel. Like that. Like that big, dumb red thing.
ADMIRAL: Beckett, you know that's the Golden Gate Bridge.
MARINER: Nobody drives anymore. Why do you need a bridge? This planet's wack.
ADMIRAL: People like the bridge. I like the bridge.
(Desk console sounds.)
ADMIRAL: Ah, Admiral Buenamigo.
BUENAMIGO [on screen]: Alonzo. I am afraid I'm the bearer of bad news.
MARINER: What? What... what's the news? Oh, hey, Uncle Les.
BUENAMIGO [on screen]: Beckett. I just received word, the judge assigned to Carol's case is, er... Mith bin Tong.
MARINER: What? She's that planet's rights lunatic. Dad, we got to get Mom out of this trial.
ADMIRAL: We got to have faith in Starfleet. The truth will come out.
MARINER: If you won't do something, then I will.
ADMIRAL: Wait, wait, wait, no, ah.
(Mariner leaves after breaking pot plants.)
BUENAMIGO [on screen]: I don't know why you keep breakable objects in the house anymore.
ADMIRAL: Neither do I.

[Vineyard]

(Picking bunches of grapes.)
BOIMLER: Oh, God, vineyard flies. Oh, I hate being home.
MARINER: Dude, are you even listening to what I'm telling you? The captain's getting railroaded, man. I have to do something before it's too late.
BOIMLER: Well, count me in.
MARINER: Really? Usually, it takes way more convincing.
BOIMLER: I'll do anything to get away from these raisins. It's already gonna take me a month to get the smell out of my hair.
GENEVIEVE: Hey, Bradward. Want to test the sweetness of my bushel?
BOIMLER: Urgh, fine, Genevieve. Just give it 43 more sun hours at 21 degrees brix.
GENEVIEVE: Oh, okay.
MARINER: Uh, when you said your family had vineyards, I just assumed it was for wine.
BOIMLER: Oh, I wish. No, we Boimlers dry grapes. Just dry them and dry them and dry them till they're all shriveled and hopeless and stuck on Earth forever.
MANDOLINA: Bradward, all these varietals are so confusing. Take me to the privacy of the pickery shed and explain them to me.
BOIMLER: Come on, Mandolina. Red goes in the red bucket, white in the white. You know that. How do they not see this is a setup? We were nowhere near Pakled Planet when it blew. I mean, she was saving another ship, for Kirk's sake.
MARINER: Okay, we know it doesn't track, but the ship's logs got corrupted by the Laapeerian debris field. It makes it look like she's covering something up.
BOIMLER: Wait, so they just need our logs? I have logs.
MARINER: No, we need the official senior staff logs, not like what you had for lunch.
BOIMLER: No, no, no. My logs are crazy detailed. Every night, I'd listen to the captain's and re-record them for my own reference.
MARINER: What?
BOIMLER: Yeah. The official stardates, systems, personnel, it's all in there, stowed by my bunk.
MARINER: Oh my God, Boimler, wait, that is so nerdy and so clutch right now. So, all we have to do is get your PADDs, and we clear her name with some surprise evidence. Take that, conservative military court.
BOIMLER: But we're grounded. Plus, we don't even know where the Cerritos is.
MARINER: It's in dry dock?
BOIMLER: Yeah, but which dry dock? There's, like, a bajillion. And, besides, they probably only kept on a small skeleton crew of engineers to help dock it, and that's it.
MARINER: Engineers?
BOTH: Rutherford!
LIANNE: Bradward, I'm soaked in juice, and I need help getting naked.
BOIMLER: Just spray off with the hose, Lianne.

[Sisko's Creole Kitchen]

TENDI: Say gumbo.
RUTHERFORD: Gumbo! (photo taken)
TENDI: So, after lunch, where should we go next? I mean, should we go back to the Grand Canyon? Is that crazy?
RUTHERFORD: We could take in a London Kings game, or... ooo, want to go see historical Bozeman?
TENDI: The site of Zefram Cochrane's first warp flight? Um, yes, please.
RUTHERFORD: Man, I can't believe you never visited any Earth stuff when you were at the Academy.
TENDI: Oh, I was so focused on my studies, I never left San Francisco. I just...
(FNN headline - Pakled bombing trial opening statements begin.)
TENDI: Man, I can't believe this.
RUTHERFORD: Those prosecutors are gonna look so stupid when the captain gets proved innocent.
TENDI: I wonder how Mariner's taking it.
MARINER: Oh, I'm taking it... taking it to the limit.
RUTHERFORD: Did you... did you time your entrance to say that?
MARINER: What? No.
BOIMLER: Oh yeah, she did.
MARINER: No. I mean, like, only, like, a few seconds.
BOIMLER: It was at least a minute. I was like, why are we hiding by the door?
MARINER: Would you just go get us some chairs?
(A little later.)
RUTHERFORD: Hmm, I don't know, sneaking into the impound dock doesn't sound very Starfleet.
MARINER: Well, neither does throwing the captain into prison for a crime she didn't commit.
TENDI: Okay, well, let's just go tell the court about Boimler's logs.
MARINER: Why, so they can bury them? No. Something went down on Pakled Planet, and they want a Cali-class captain to take the fall. The bridge crew are under constant attack. It's up to us to do something.
RUTHERFORD: I know where the Cerritos is. I got a glance at the orbital coordinates when we were docking. It's only 19 digits.
MARINER: Yes, Ruthy Ruth! There we go.
RUTHERFORD: But the only way up to that dry dock is via an encrypted transporter at a secure compound.
BOIMLER: How are we gonna get in?
MARINER: Geez, don't cry, man. We'll figure something out. Nice little kick.

[Transporter facility]

RUTHERFORD: Er, so we're gonna have to get past the transporter chief. I heard he's long-time Starfleet security. He could be intense.
BOIMLER: Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up. We have to face some kind of psycho badass?
MARINER: Look, we've got the numbers and the element of surprise. This is for the captain.
DENNIS: Well, ahoy, there. Come in, come in. Don't let the door hit you, where the Big Bang split you. Yup. Let me just get over here. Chief Carlton Dennis at your service. You can call me Denny. So, what brings y'all to my dusty old transporter pad? You kids from the Academy?
BOIMLER: Er, yeah, that's right. We were just er... hoping to learn about your transporter.
DENNIS: Say no more. If there's one thing I've got in this joint, it's gout. But also transporters. Come on, let's give you the tour. Here we go.
TENDI: We can't tie this guy up. He's, like, the sweetest old man in the world.
MARINER: I know, I know, but we have no choice, okay? Just distract him for me.
RUTHERFORD: Whoa! These transporters are classics. Did you restore these?
DENNIS: Yeah. I'm a bit of a buffer buff. Working on these beauties is what kept me going when my... when my wife Jane passed.
MARINER: Guys, I can't. You got to do it.
BOIMLER: No way. He's like my grandpa.
MARINER: He's everyone's grandpa.
DENNIS: Butterscotch?
MARINER: Sure, yeah, thanks, Denny.
DENNIS: It's so rare that I get visitors here. You kids are the real treat. Yeah, usually people only come in looking to knock me out, and use my transporter to beam to a restricted ship.
(Points hand phaser at them.)
DENNIS: You wouldn't know anything about that... would you? Aw, there, there, don't... don't cry. Okay, I wasn't gonna stun you. It's all right. You know what? I'll make some soup.
(Later.)
DENNIS: Look, I don't blame you one bit for trying to help your captain. I've been following her trial. I don't buy those charges for a second.
MARINER: So, can you transport us up to our ship?
DENNIS: I would, but I can't 'cause of the damned Verugament.
RUTHERFORD: Veruga-what?
DENNIS: It's been all over the news. A big swarm of glowing space critters, migrating right past Earth. They create a natural scattering field, that interferes with the transporter. I'm afraid all surface-to-space beaming is down.
MARINER: What? We can't let some space bugs stop us.
DENNIS: Sorry, kiddo. The only way you're getting to that dry dock, is in a ship.
TENDI: So we didn't save the captain, and missed a once-in-a-lifetime trip to historical Bozeman?
DENNIE: Oh, you would've loved Bozeman. Oh, the reenactors. Oh, they got this replica Phoenix ride. You know, folks can just take it up into orbit. Ah...
MARINER: Wait, you can't transport us to space, but what about Montana?

[Bozeman MT]

COCHRANE [Tannoy]: Hello, explorers, and welcome to the 21st century. We hope you enjoy yourself, and make a first contact, with fun.
RUTHERFORD: Ooh, ooh, they're just like the 21st century. It's just like post-World war III.
TENDI: Oh, my gosh, there's the Crash-n-Burn Bar with its famous one-song jukebox.
RUTHERFORD: Look, there's the ship that the Vulcans came down in.
TENDI: Whoa. Can I try that? It would be illogical not to.
MARINER: Sorry, guys, we came for that.
(A rocket takes off.)
TENDI: Ah. Wow.
RUTHERFORD: Whoo.
(Phoenix ride queue.)
HOLO-COCHRANE: Oh, hi. I'm just finishing up some repairs, and you should finish up any snacks, as no food or beverages are allowed inside the Phoenix.
BOIMLER: Hey, guys, are we sure we can even fly this thing? I mean, you only have to be 100 centimeters to ride.
MARINER: Look, a ship's a ship. Once we're out of the atmosphere, Rutherford can override the automation. Right, Ruthy? -
RUTHERFORD: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yup, you got it.

[Phoenix]

TENDI: All right. Here we g...
GAVIN: Okay, oh boy. Here we go, Gavin. You're really doing this, huh?
BOIMLER: Oh, crap. Hey, buddy, you should really get on a different Phoenix.
GAVIN: Oh, no, no, no, no. The guy clearly told me single rider, ship number five. I don't want to get in trouble. Hey, we don't go past warp one, right? I'm sorry, I'm just a little nervous 'cause, you know, I'm not good with spaceflight.
HOLO-COCHRANE: All right, buckos, prepare for your trek amongst the stars. Oh, before I forget... Let's rock and roll.
(Plays Magic Carpet Ride by Steppenwolf as the rocket lifts off.)
GAVIN: I think we're supposed to stay seated.
HOLO-COCHRANE: First stage separation complete. Let's bring what I like to call the warp core online.
RUTHERFORD: Sorry, Mister Cochrane.
GAVIN: Wh... what are you doing?
HOLO-COCHRANE: W... W... Wow, would you look at that beautiful blue marble?
GAVIN: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
MARINER: It's working. It's kind of working.
RUTHERFORD: All right. Inputting dry dock coordinates.
HOLO-COCHRANE: Prepare to make history. Here we go.
GAVIN: Wh-Wh-What are you doing?
(Approaching drydock.)
TENDI: Oh, wow.
BOIMLER: Whoa.
HOLO-COCHRANE: Thanks for riding with me, explorers. Please exit on the right, and take all your belongings with you.
MARINER: Sorry about that, Gav. Top secret Starfleet business going on here.
RUTHERFORD: Don't worry, man. I'll reengage the automation and get you back down to Earth.
GAVIN: Wait. Don't. This is my ship now. I'm not Gavin the botanist anymore. No, I am Gavin the pilot, and I am going to explore the galaxy!
MARINER: Hell yeah.
RUTHERFORD: Respect, man.
GAVIN: Woo-hoo! This won't be the last you hear of me.
(The Phoenix loops off into warp.)

[Crew bunks]

BOIMLER: Okay, all right, it should be right... Yes! My copies of all the captain's logs going back to stardate 18018.7. This should be more than enough.
MARINER: Oh, Boims, I will never make fun of you for this kind of stuff again. Okay, let me see the one from the day of the bombing.
BOIMLER [PADD]: The Cerritos is en route to the Laapeerian system, to assist the Archimedes in a first contact.
MARINER: Yes! That is exactly what we need to save Mom.
BOIMLER [PADD]: Oh, and I think I heard Ransom say my name today. He might've said, boiler, but still, name recognition! Oh my God!
MARINER: What? What was, what was that?
BOIMLER: Oh, yeah, no, I always add little personal details to them. Makes them fun.
BOIMLER [PADD]: Got caught sniffing the captain's chair again.
MARINER: They're... they're all like this?
BOIMLER: No, no, no, that's just one or two. The rest of them are very professional.
BOIMLER [PADD]: Oh, the alien atmosphere is giving me insane gas. Got to be better about hiding my purple hair dye. Nobody knows my real hair colour is... An alien bird ate my combadge. Dropped my tricorder in the toilet again.
BOIMLER: Er, y... you can just skip past all that.
BOIMLER [PADD]: I actually woke myself up, the gas pains were so bad. I just wish I could fart!
MARINER: We can't use these.
BOIMLER: Don't worry, I don't care that they're embarrassing.
MARINER: No, I mean because they are a joke. It's a friggin' blooper reel. No court's gonna accept this. Oh, my God, I wasted this whole day. I can't believe I thought this was the fix.
RUTHERFORD: Well, hold on. They do have the date stamps and locations. Starfleet could cross-check the information.
MARINER: Yeah, even if they did, it would all come down to them believing the word of some goofy ensign. When does that ever work out? They don't even believe the captain because she's California-class.
BOIMLER: Hey, come on, they're Starfleet. If we can't trust them to do the right thing, what can we trust in?
TENDI: Yeah, Mariner, we have to believe.
MARINER: Yeah, you guys are right. All right, let's get this PADD to Earth and save the day, Lower Decks-style.

[Shuttlecraft]

MARINER: Hmm. I got to... I got to check the port nacelle real quick.
BOIMLER: You think we're dressed okay for court?
RUTHERFORD: I mean, my shirt could be a little more asymmetrical.
TENDI: Wait, wait, what's going on? Where is she going?
(Shuttlecraft takes off.)
RUTHERFORD: She's set us on auto-navigation. I can't stop it. She locked us out.

[Bridge]

TENDI [on viewscreen] Mariner, what are you doing?
MARINER: I'm not going back until I get hard evidence.
BOIMLER [on viewscreen]: Are you stealing the Cerritos?
MARINER: They say she got a bomb from Klingons? Bullshit. I'm gonna go find those Klingons and bring them back.
BOIMLER: What? Do you hear yourself right now?
MARINER: Look, whatever happens to me, I'm not gonna put you guys through that, okay?
RUTHERFORD: Wait, wait, wait!
TENDI: Mariner!
MARINER: No! You don't get it. She's your captain, but she's my mom.
(Cerritos leaves drydock.)

[Shuttlecraft]

TENDI: This is insane. She's gonna end up in prison, or worse.
BOIMLER: We have to stop her. I don't care what trouble I get in.
RUTHERFORD: Same.
TENDI: I want the trouble. Give me the trouble.
BOIMLER: If we can't override the auto-nav, we're just gonna have to lean into it.
TENDI: But it's taking us back home.
BOIMLER: That's why I redefined what the shuttle thinks of as home.
(Flying towards the shuttlebay.)
BOIMLER: Yes! You got this, Auto.
TENDI: Whoo! We're doing it. We're... We're coming in a little fast, aren't we?
BOIMLER: Shoot, Auto still thinks Earth's atmosphere is here to slow it down. Er... hold on.
(The shuttlecraft Joshua Tree crashes in and ends up on its roof.)
RUTHERFORD: Whoa. We're alive? Cool.

[Bridge]

MARINER: Wait, what the hell are you doing? I don't want you getting in trouble.
TENDI: And we're not gonna let you put yourself in danger. Rutherford.
MARINER: Oh, no, you don't.
BOIMLER: You're not thinking straight.
MARINER: I don't want to hurt you.
TENDI: Got her.
(Fight by Engineering II.)
TENDI: Hey, stop it!

[Spacedock]

OFFICER: Er, Gary, do we have the Cerritos leaving orbit today?
GARY: What? No. Cerritos is in dry dock. Why?
(Cerritos flies past, heading for Earth. Gary hits red alert.)

[Bridge]

BOIMLER: Stop it, stop it.
MARINER: Why can't you let me do this?
BOIMLER: Why are you so good at fighting? Ow, ow, ow.
RUTHERFORD: There. Nav controls are locked. We're stopped.
MARINER: No. No. Goddamn it, give me back the controls. I need to... I... I need... I need to... They put her in handcuffs, and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. They could take her away forever, and I can't stop it, and I'm just... I'm just so scared.
BOIMLER: Hey, whatever happens down there, we're gonna be right beside you.
TENDI: Yeah, we're in this together.
SECURITY [OC]: USS Cerritos, this is an unauthorised launch. What is the nature of your emergency?
RUTHERFORD: Oh crap, it's security. What do we say? What do we say?
MARINER: This is all my fault, okay? I'll... I'll say I took you hostage and...
TENDI: Wait, look. It's the Verugament.
(They're purple, of course.)
RUTHERFORD: Oh, man, I stopped us right in their path.
TENDI: They're incandescent extremophiles. They migrate through space and feed on microscopic...
BOIMLER: Argh! They're attacking the ship.
TENDI: No, look at this sensor. I think they're synthesising carbon off the hull, and it's triggering a mass reproductive event.
MARINER: It's an orgy?
TENDI: Aw, I guess they were in search of a breeding ground, and we're it. So magical.
SECURITY [OC]: Cerritos, I repeat, this is an unauthorised launch. Please respond.
TENDI: Quick, open a channel.
MARINER: What? What're you gonna say?
TENDI: Just do it! This is Ensign D'Vana Tendi of the Cerritos. We are performing a biological survey of these reproducing organisms.
SECURITY [on viewscreen]: Er, we're only reading four of you.
TENDI: That's right. Everyone else is grounded. This is a rare scientific event. We must not be interrupted.
SECURITY [on viewscreen]: Interrupted? But... We're coming aboard. Just stay where you are.
TENDI: Okay. Er... open the bay doors and follow me. Come on!

[Shuttle bay]

SECURITY: What the hell is going on in here?
TENDI: Er, these endangered creatures need help transferring their gametes. We're facilitating while we... study them.
SECURITY: Er, doesn't it hurt? Seems like a lot of charged tentacles.
MARINER: Ow. Yeah, no, yeah, it hurts.
BOIMLER: But there's no substitute for first... firsthand data.
RUTHERFORD: This is... Ow! Just a marvellous... Ow! Specimen. Ouch!
SECURITY: Okay, I think I've seen just about enough here.
BOIMLER: Are we under arrest?
SECURITY: For what? Helping these precious creatures? Of course not. And let me just say, I love seeing junior officers committed to the pursuit of science.
MARINER: Yeah, man. That is us, just pursuing and doing.
SECURITY: Super. We'll just need to know the commander who ordered this mission, and we'll be on our way.
TENDI: Er...
SECURITY: It's not like you just stole a starship all on your own. That'd be bananas. So, come on, who ordered this?
FREEMAN: I did. Captain Carol Freeman.
MARINER: Mom?
SECURITY: Thanks, Captain Freeman. Glad to have you back.
STRAX: We're clear.
MARINER: What the... What are you doing here? What happened with the trial? Are you on the run?
ADMIRAL: The trial's over, Beckett.
MARINER: It is? How?
FREEMAN: While I was sitting in court, Starfleet was carrying out a secret investigation into the Pakled bombing. Led by Captain Morgan Bateson, this elite team learned of a Pakled connection to a known data fabricator, whom they discovered had faked the incriminating footage of me. They pursued and captured this forger inside the Romulan Neutral Zone. Under some rather invasive questioning from Commander Tuvok, this forger revealed the true identity of the bombers, the Pakleds themselves.
ALL: What?
FREEMAN: It was a huge reveal. Turns out that their plan was to blow up their own capital and frame me to force the Federation into relocating them to a more resource-rich planet. So, it was a classic Pakled Samaritan Snare writ large, and it would have worked, if not for Starfleet's best, believing in one of their own.
TENDI: Holy shit.
RUTHERFORD: Oh, can we hear that again, please?
MARINER: Wow. Wow. Starfleet really came through. Who'd have thought?
ADMIRAL: Me, Beckett. I told you from the start to trust in the system. I said it this morning. I bet your friends told you just as much.
MARINER: Um... They might've said... I mean, whatever, all that matters is you're free, right, Mom? All's well that, you know, turns out fine.
FREEMAN: Oh, no, no, no, no, missy. Do you realise I was out of court for less than an hour before I learned that my own daughter has stolen my ship from a military impound?! You three, go start cleaning whatever the hell this is.
TENDI: Er, well, they're a type of incandescent extremoph... Mmm... Yes, Captain. Right away, Captain.
FREEMAN: And you? You're with me.

[Ready room]

(Back in drydock.
FREEMAN: I blame myself.
MARINER: For wearing out that carpet? Yeah, agreed.
ADMIRAL: Beckett, come on.
FREEMAN: You see? You see, 'Zo? Even now, she thinks she can just say and do whatever she wants with no repercussions. 'Cause you know what? She could. This whole time, we have covered for her and excused her, and now we are reaping what we sowed.
MARINER: Well, what do you want me to say? I was trying to help.
FREEMAN: And I love you for that, I do. Honey, you have so much potential, but if you're ever going to amount to anything, it won't be because you saw me as an authority.
ADMIRAL: And we know how often you listen to me.
MARINER: Oh, here we go, I'm being, what, demoted and transferred again?
ADMIRAL: Where would you go? The Cerritos is still your last chance.
FREEMAN: But I can't be the one to rein you in. As your mother, I could never kick you out of Starfleet. However, I know someone who isn't burdened by family ties. Come.
MARINER: No. Not him, not him. No, no, no.
FREEMAN: Ensign Beckett Mariner, I'm giving your full and final oversight to Commander Ransom. If you do in fact want to remain in Starfleet, it's going to be his call.
RANSOM: Thank you, Captain. As far as you're concerned, Mariner, I'm your mama now.

[Shuttle bay]

BOIMLER: Ah. You know, even covered in alien sploof, there's no place I'd rather be.
TENDI: Yeah. Home, sticky home.
RUTHERFORD: Oh hey, turn on FNN. Let's see if they're talking about the trial.
RONT [on PADD]: We'll talk to the little boy who solved Fermat's last theorem. But first, a daring rescue near the moons of Jupiter, as a malfunctioning theme park ride leaves one young man traumatised.

[Phoenix]

GAVIN: No, no, let me go! I'm Captain Gavin. I am on a trek amongst the stars!