NEELIX: Captain, do you have a minute?
JANEWAY: Just about a minute. I'm on my way to the shuttlebay.
NEELIX: I thought last night went well, didn't you?
JANEWAY: Extremely well. Everyone had a lot of fun.
NEELIX: I was thinking of making it a regular feature, say once a month?
JANEWAY: It's certainly worth a try.
NEELIX: And Captain, you were especially good last night.
JANEWAY: Thanks Neelix. It's been a while.
NEELIX: You'd never know. Now, Captain, I, do you think, I mean, I, I, I was wondering if,
JANEWAY: What is it, Neelix?
NEELIX: Could you possibly keep Mister Tuvok busy on the bridge that evening?
JANEWAY: I'm sure something could be arranged. Our secret, Neelix.
NEELIX: We never had this discussion.

[Shuttlecraft Sacajawea]

CHAKOTAY: Harry's clarinet solo was okay. I could have done without Tuvok's reading of Vulcan poetry. But the highlight of the evening was definitely Kathryn Janeway portraying the Dying Swan.
JANEWAY: I learned that dance when I was six years old. I assure you, it was the hit of the 'Beginning Ballet' class.
CHAKOTAY: I don't doubt it. If Neelix has another talent night I hope you reprise it.
JANEWAY: Oh, no. Not until certain other people take their turn. The ship's First Officer for instance.
CHAKOTAY: Me? Get up in front of people and perform? I don't think so.
JANEWAY: Come on, Chakotay, there must be some talent you have that people would enjoy. Maybe I could stand with an apple on my head and you could phaser it off.
CHAKOTAY: Sounds great. If I miss I get to be Captain. Atmospheric turbulence. We might be in for a rough landing.
JANEWAY: Funny, a minute ago there wasn't any indication of rough weather.
CHAKOTAY: I'm reading even more severe storms near the surface.
JANEWAY: Ion lightning. Maybe we'd better try the fifth planet and come back here when things have cleared up.
CHAKOTAY: I think we took a lightning hit. Attitude control is out.
JANEWAY: Switching to manual.
CHAKOTAY: The navigational system's out.
JANEWAY: Reverse engines, full thrusters.
COMPUTER: Warning. Hydrazene gas leak.
JANEWAY: Altitude twelve kilometres, hull temperature four thousand degrees. We have to reduce speed.
CHAKOTAY: I'll try the emergency anti-grav thrusters. Kathryn. Kathryn! Kathryn! Kathryn! No!
COMPUTER: Warning. Hydrazene gas levels at one hundred twelve parts per million. Begin evacuation procedures.

[Planet Surface]

CHAKOTAY: Hang on, Kathryn. Breathe, damn you, breathe! Don't you die on me now. Come on, Kathryn, breathe! Listen to me, Kathryn, you've got to breathe. Breathe! Breathe! Come on, come on! Yes!
JANEWAY: Chakotay.
CHAKOTAY: Don't ever do that to me again. You went into shock. Gave me quite a scare there for a minute. This should help reduce your cranial swelling. Should have a head ache for a while.
JANEWAY: I'll live with it.
CHAKOTAY: We need to set up a homing signal. Hey, take it easy.
JANEWAY: I'm all right. Chakotay, we're going to need the blankets and the rations.
CHAKOTAY: I can get them. You set up the homing signal. Here. At least the storm seems to be dying.
JANEWAY: What were you looking at?
CHAKOTAY: There are phaser burns on the hull. I don't think it was lightning strikes that hit us. I think we were shot down.
JANEWAY: By whom?
CHAKOTAY: I don't know. I'm going back to see if I can get an energy signature from the burns.
JANEWAY: Chakotay, the homing signal! We might be telling someone just where to find us!
CHAKOTAY: Disconnect it while I scan the shuttle.
JANEWAY: Can you tell anything?
CHAKOTAY: The signatures are Vidiian.
JANEWAY: Vidiian? I thought we moved beyond their space.
CHAKOTAY: If they shot us down you can be sure they'll be coming for us. We need to find a hiding place.
JANEWAY: What is it?
CHAKOTAY: Life forms, fifty metres from here. They're coming this way.
JANEWAY: Let's go.
CHAKOTAY: There's another group in this direction. We're surrounded.
JANEWAY: Let's take cover. We'll have to fight.

[Cave]

JANEWAY: Back off now. We'll fire if we have to. Back off! Chakotay!

[Shuttlecraft Sacajawea]

CHAKOTAY: Harry's clarinet solo was okay. I could have done without Tuvok's reading of Vulcan poetry. But the highlight of the evening was definitely Kathryn Janeway portraying the Dying Swan.
JANEWAY: I learned that dance when I was six years old. I assure you - wait a minute, what's happening here?
CHAKOTAY: You're right, we have been here before.
JANEWAY: Do you remember Vidiians?
CHAKOTAY: Yes. They shot us down and attacked us.
JANEWAY: We may have wandered into some kind of repeating time loop. I'm going to scan for temporal anomalies.
CHAKOTAY: Whatever's going on, let's change tactics this time. Let's not try to land on that planet.
JANEWAY: Agreed. I don't see any evidence of temporal flux, or any kind on anomaly for that matter.
CHAKOTAY: Or any Vidiian ships.
JANEWAY: So far, so good.
CHAKOTAY: Chakotay to Voyager. Chakotay to Voyager, do you read us?
JANEWAY: We're out of range. I'd still like to figure out what happened to us. Send a sub-space message that we won't be landing on the planet. Tell them that we'll be looking for evidence of temporal anomalies. I see a ship approaching at high impulse. It's on an intercept course.
CHAKOTAY: Is it Vidiian?
JANEWAY: Yes.
CHAKOTAY: I've got it. It's a warship, loaded with weaponry. It's closing fast.
JANEWAY: Can we outrun it?
CHAKOTAY: We can try.
JANEWAY: They're two hundred thousand kilometres away and gaining.
CHAKOTAY: Setting evasive pattern Delta four.
JANEWAY: They're powering weapons. Shields up! Stand by all phaser arrays.
CHAKOTAY: Shields down to 84 percent.
JANEWAY: Returning fire.
CHAKOTAY: Nice aim.
JANEWAY: It didn't stop them.
CHAKOTAY: We've lost shields!
JANEWAY: Firing starboard array!
CHAKOTAY: That one hit the reactor's injectors.
JANEWAY: Shut them down, they'll leak anti-matter.
CHAKOTAY: The magnetic fields are failing, the gas flow separators are down.
JANEWAY: Dump the core!

JANEWAY: It's looking more and more like we're in a time loop. The question is, how do we break it?
CHAKOTAY: Let's retrace our steps, get back to the part of space we were in before all this started happening.
JANEWAY: Agreed. If we're experiencing a temporal field, a tachyon burst might disperse it. Chakotay.
CHAKOTAY: Let me guess. It's a Vidiian ship.
JANEWAY: Two Vidiian ships, still twenty million kilometres away but headed right for us.
CHAKOTAY: Sacajawea to Voyager, do you read us?
TUVOK [OC]: You have just come into comm. range, Commander.
CHAKOTAY: We're being pursued by two Vidiian ships. Set a course for our shuttle and have weapons powered.
JANEWAY: We also believe we are experiencing some kind of temporal phenomenon, a time loop. Make certain you scan for anomalies.
TUVOK [OC]: Aye Captain. We're on our way.
CHAKOTAY: If you're going to emit that tachyon burst, you'd better do it now. In a couple of minutes those ships'll be right on top of us.
JANEWAY: Here goes. I can't tell if it's affecting anything.
CHAKOTAY: The Vidiians are almost within range. Ready weapons. What happened?
JANEWAY: They just vanished! But I'm picking up a residual temporal signature.
CHAKOTAY: Then those ships must have been part of the time loop.
JANEWAY: And the tachyon burst disrupted it.
CHAKOTAY: Not a minute too soon. I was getting awfully tired of talking about Talent Night.
TUVOK [OC]: Voyager to Sacajawea. We will rendezvous with you in approximately four minutes.
JANEWAY: Believe me, Tuvok, we're looking forward to it.

[Bridge]

TUVOK: Good to have you back, Captain.
JANEWAY: Good to be here. I'd still like to get to the bottom of whatever was happening to us in that shuttle. Did Voyager detect any evidence of a temporal field?
TUVOK: To my knowledge, we did not.
JANEWAY: Let's run a second level temporal scan. I'd feel better entering this part of space if I knew what caused the phenomenon.
TORRES: Phenomenon? I'm not sure what you mean, Captain.
JANEWAY: The time loop, or whatever it was we ran into out there.
PARIS: Time loop?
JANEWAY: We told you, Chakotay and I experienced some kind of temporal loop. It involved the Vidiians. They'd attack and kill us and then we'd be sitting in the shuttle again. Tell them.
CHAKOTAY: We were on our way to the second planet of a binary system
JANEWAY: To collect some nitrogenase compound, but we encountered a storm and we crashed.
CHAKOTAY: And then we were attacked by the Vidiians but we managed to escape and get back here.
TUVOK: You and the Commander were checked by the Doctor, who treated your injuries, and you proceeded here to the bridge.
CHAKOTAY: But I don't remember anything about a repeating time loop.
JANEWAY: You don't remember how we kept ending up in the shuttle talking about Talent Night? Then I'm the only one who recalls things differently. Something strange is going on here. I'll have the Doctor examine me. In the meantime, I still want those temporal scans.
CHAKOTAY: You heard the Captain, let's get moving.

[Sickbay]

EMH: I ran a microcellular scan after you returned to the ship. I have just analysed the results.
JANEWAY: What did you find?
EMH: You have contracted a disease. The Vidiian Phage.
JANEWAY: The Phage? What about Chakotay, is he infected too?
EMH: No, Commander Chakotay shows no signs of the disease.
JANEWAY: How did I get it?
EMH: You said one of the Vidiians grabbed you. It may be that the virus was transferred in that way.
JANEWAY: But we've encountered Vidiians before and had physical contact with them. No one's ever gotten sick that way.
EMH: I can't offer an explanation at this point. It may be that the Phage virus has mutated to become more infectious. I believe however this explains the hallucinations you described. There is often concomitant stress to the thalamus in the early stages of the disease. It is known to cause a kind of dementia that produces hallucinations.
JANEWAY: What's the prognosis?
EMH: I wish I could tell you, Captain. For the moment it would be best if you were to remain in sickbay, under quarantine.
JANEWAY: Of course.
EMH: The fact that the virus has acted so quickly raises the possibility that others on the crew may be infected.
JANEWAY: You've studied the Phage in great detail. Have you made any progress in finding a cure?
EMH: I hadn't pursued the matter since we seemed to have moved beyond Vidiian space, but I'll now redouble my efforts. In the meantime I'd like to give you a sedative. Captain? I'll be running a series of deep level tissue scans.
JANEWAY: I understand.
EMH: There, that should give you a good night's sleep. I'll erect a bio-forcefield, and I promise you, Captain, I won't deactivate myself until I have some answers for you.
JANEWAY: Doctor. I know I'm in good hands.

JANEWAY: Doctor?
EMH: Ah, you're awake.
JANEWAY: How long have I been asleep?
EMH: Almost forty hours.
JANEWAY: Forty.
EMH: I'm afraid this strain of the Phage is particularly virulent. It's spreading rapidly.
JANEWAY: Have you? Is there any hope of a cure?
EMH: I regret to inform you that I have been unsuccessful.
JANEWAY: Then what's the next step?
EMH: I've given that a great deal of thought. The prospects are unpleasant, Captain. You face a lingering, painful death marked by increasing periods of dementia and eventual insanity.
JANEWAY: I see.
EMH: I've come to the conclusion that there's only one humane course of action.
JANEWAY: What's that?
EMH: Euthanasia.
JANEWAY: What!
EMH: It would be wrong to subject you to such a prolonged and painful death. The crew would also be adversely affected if that were to happen.
JANEWAY: Surely there are other options to explore, Doctor. B'Elanna's DNA for instance. It's coded to produce antibodies against the Phage.
EMH: Klingon DNA might provide a vaccine for the disease, but not a cure. I'm sorry, Captain. The space within the forcefield is filling with a neural toxin. It is fast-acting and merciful.
JANEWAY: Turn it off. That's an order, Doctor!
EMH: Please relax and take deep breaths. It will be over more quickly that way.
JANEWAY: Computer, delete Emergency Medical Hologram.
COMPUTER: A security code is required for that command.
JANEWAY: Security code Janeway Lambda Three.
COMPUTER: That code is not recognised.
JANEWAY: I'm the Captain! Delete the EMH!
COMPUTER: A security code is required for that command.
JANEWAY: Don't do this. It isn't right.

[Shuttlecraft Sacajawea]

JANEWAY: Chakotay!
CHAKOTAY: I know. We're back.
JANEWAY: That's it. That must be the anomaly behind all this.
CHAKOTAY: It's exerting a gravito-magnetic force.
JANEWAY: We've got to get away from it. Divert all power to the engines.
CHAKOTAY: Changing course. We're still being drawn toward it.
JANEWAY: Reverse engines, full power.
CHAKOTAY: Structural integrity is weakening.
JANEWAY: Reinforce the hull.
CHAKOTAY: Captain, maybe we should go in.
JANEWAY: No!
CHAKOTAY: Listen to me. Maybe we're doing this all wrong. Maybe the thing to do is fly into it.
JANEWAY: No, I don't believe that. We've got to get away.
CHAKOTAY: It's going to tear the shuttle apart. The hull is breaching!

[Planet surface]

CHAKOTAY: Don't you die on me, Kathryn.
JANEWAY: Chakotay, what's happening?
CHAKOTAY: Start breathing! Breathe, dammit, breathe! Don't do this to me, Kathryn. Come on, Kathryn, breathe.
JANEWAY: Can't you hear me?
CHAKOTAY: Don't you die on me. Come on, breathe. Kathryn, listen to me, you have to breathe. Start breathing! Come on! Come on! Kathryn! Can't die. JANEWAY: Chakotay, I'm here.
TUVOK [OC]: Voyager to Sacajawea, do you read us?
CHAKOTAY: Yes, Voyager. How far are you? I have an emergency here.
TUVOK [OC]: We're in orbit, Commander. We've located you but transporters won't function in the storm. A shuttle is on it's way to the surface now.
CHAKOTAY: The Captain's dead. We have to get her back to sickbay. The Doctor may still be able to revive her.
TUVOK [OC]: The away team should be with you in minutes.
CHAKOTAY: Acknowledged.
JANEWAY: I know you can't see me or hear me. I don't know what's going on, but I am here, Chakotay, I am not dead.
CHAKOTAY: Kathryn, we're going to get you back.

[Sickbay]

EMH: Ten milligrammes cordrazine. We'll use it in conjunction with the cortical stimulator. Now!
KES: No pulse, no blood pressure, no electrical activity in the mid brain. No measurable response in the cerebral cortex.
EMH: Again.
KES: Doctor, we're getting a thready pulse.
EMH: Quickly, seventy five milligrammes inaprovaline. I'll begin direct synaptic stimulation.
KES: Pulse is weakening. We're losing her again.
EMH: Cortical stimulator, now!
KES: No vital signs, no brain activity.
EMH: Again!
KES: No change!
EMH: Again!
KES: Doctor
EMH: Don't question me. Again! Make a note in the log. Death occurred at oh three twenty hours. Cause, massive cerebro- vascular collapse.
JANEWAY: Computer, confirm Janeway voice pattern. Kes, you're a telepath, you've been able to sense things others can't. Kes, can you sense me?
EMH: Kes, please go to the science lab and prepare the autopsy protocols.

[Corridor]

JANEWAY: I'm here, Kes, I'm staying with you until you realise it.
KES: Captain?
JANEWAY: Did you feel that, Kes? It was me.
KES: Kes to Commander Chakotay. I need to talk to you right away.

[Briefing room]

KES: Maybe it was nothing, but I have the strongest feeling that the Captain was there in the corridor with me.
TUVOK: It is possible that in your distress over the Captain's death you imagined that you were aware of her.
KES: It was more than that, I'm sure of it.
CHAKOTAY: In the past Kes has shown an ability an unseen presence. I think we have to take her seriously.
TORRES: The Captain's consciousness might have phase-shifted out of our reality.
PARIS: She could be in some kind of alternate dimension in sub-space.
NEELIX: We have to find her somehow.
TORRES: Harry and I can run a full sub-space sweep, see if we can come up with anything.
CHAKOTAY: Get on it. It's your top priority. Neelix, help the crew with this. Keep their morale up until we can get some answers.
CHAKOTAY: Yes, sir. Right away.
TUVOK: Commander, I suggest I work with Kes. I may be able to help her increase the range of her perceptions.
CHAKOTAY: Good idea. Tom, we'll take duty stations.
JANEWAY: That's more like it.

[Engineering]

TORRES: I've reconfigured the lateral sensor array to scan subspace.
JANEWAY: Don't forget to run a magneton sweep.
KIM: The forward array is ready to scan for temporal phase-shifting, chronoton particles or field flux.
TORRES: I'm going to activate the magneton scanner. It might pick up an anomalous presence.
JANEWAY: Now what? Daddy! Who are you? Are you responsible for what's going on here?
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: You know who I am, Kathryn.
JANEWAY: My father died over fifteen years ago.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: Yes. Drowned under the polar icecap on Tau Ceti Prime. It was devastating to you.
JANEWAY: You may be an hallucination, or some kind of projection of my own imagination, but you are not my father.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: Kathryn, Kathryn. I raised you to be a doubter and a sceptic, to look at the world with a scientist's eye, but in this instance that won't work.
JANEWAY: Why not? If you know what's going on here, tell me.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: Isn't it clear? You're dead. You died in that shuttle crash.
JANEWAY: No, no, no, that's not possible.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: I understand your confusion, your refusal to accept what's happened. I went through the same thing after my accident.
JANEWAY: What do you mean?
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: I went back to you, and your mother, and your sister after I died for a long time, until I realised it was futile. That's what happens when dead is unexpected. One's consciousness isn't prepared to let go.
JANEWAY: Consciousness. Is that what you're calling me? Kathryn's consciousness.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: For the want of a better word. Some say ghost or spirit. We all heard the stories and thought they were the product of vivid imaginations or self-induced hysteria. I'll admit I was surprised when I found they were true.
JANEWAY: If you stayed with me after you died you should be able to tell me what happened then.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: You were so grief-stricken you fell into a terrible depression. You spent months in bed, sleeping away your days rather than confronting your feelings. I'm not sure what would have happened if your sister hadn't forced you into the real world again.
JANEWAY: If you're an hallucination, a part of me, you'd know those things.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: Kathryn, remember several times after I died you woke up thinking I was in the room with you? You told your sister it felt absolutely real. That's because it was real. I was there trying to convince you to get on with your life.
JANEWAY: Just for the sake of argument let's say you're right. What's next?
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: That's up to you. Eventually you will cross over. The only question is how long it will take you to give up this world.
JANEWAY: Cross over to where?
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: I don't know what to call it. Another state of consciousness unlike anything we could have imagined in life. It's not a frightening place, Kathryn. It's full of joy and indescribable wonder.
JANEWAY: Kes sensed I was here. They're looking for me!
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: People have felt the presence of ghosts throughout the ages, but the technology to find them still hasn't been invented.
JANEWAY: They won't give up easily.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: But they will give up eventually. They'll accept what's happened, and that's what you have to do.
JANEWAY: Kes did it once, she can do it again. I'm going to help her.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: If that's what you feel you need to do, I understand.

[Tuvok's quarters]

TUVOK: Let us try one more time. Open yourself to the impressions around you. The thoughts, the minds that are on this ship. All the minds that are on this ship.
KES: I hear them. So many voices.
TUVOK: They are a turbulent storm, and you are the one who must rise above the tempest to a place that is quiet.
KES: It's difficult.
TUVOK: You must lift yourself from the confusion of the storm, soar into the quiet space among the stars where everything is still.
KES: Yes, I'm in that place now.
TUVOK: Is there a voice that you can hear? A single voice isolated in the stillness.
JANEWAY: Kes, I'm here. Focus on me, on my voice.
TUVOK: There are only two beings in the void, you and Captain Janeway. Nothing else exists that can interfere. Can you hear her voice, however faintly?
KES: I'm trying.
TUVOK: Is there anything? Any presence in the void with you?
KES: I don't think so. I can't hear anything.
JANEWAY: Kes, keep trying! You have to find me!
TUVOK: Now I am with you, moving through the quiet space. My thoughts join with yours, extending the range of the search.
JANEWAY: Tuvok, surely you must know I'm here? We've shared so much.
KES: I'm just not getting anything.
TUVOK: Nor am I.
KES: I felt empty, alone. Maybe you're right. What I sensed wasn't the Captain, it was me wanting to believe she wasn't dead.
TUVOK: We've been trying for three days without success. Nor have Lieutenant Torres and Ensign Kim found any indication that the Captain is alive. There is a point at which we must accept the inevitability of her death.
KES: Thank you for helping. I don't think I would have accepted it if you hadn't at least tried. Goodnight.
TUVOK: Tactical Officer's log, supplemental. My attempt to help Kes detect the Captain's presence has ended in failure. I am forced to conclude that we have in fact lost Kathryn Janeway. I would like the record to show that I have lost a good friend as well as one whom I can never replace.
JANEWAY: Oh, Tuvok
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: They all love you, Kathryn. It's going to be hard for them.
JANEWAY: This can't be happening. I don't believe it.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: Because you don't want to. Tomorrow it will become easier.
JANEWAY: My memorial service.

[Mess hall]

TORRES: When I came to this ship I resented the fact that Captain Janeway was responsible for our being stranded here in the Delta Quadrant. I didn't think that she made the right decision and I certainly didn't want to serve under her command. In the beginning I fought her. Even when she made me Chief Engineer I didn't trust her reasons. I kept looking for a hidden agenda. I actually believed that she'd set me up to fail. Well, I couldn't have been more wrong. She saw, she saw something in me that I didn't see. She saw a worthwhile person where I saw a lost and hostile misfit, and because she had faith in me I began to have faith in myself. And when she died, the first thing I thought was that I couldn't do this without her. That I needed her too badly - her strength and her compassion. But then I realised that the gift that she gave me, and gave a lot of us here, was the knowledge that we are better and stronger than we think. I wish I had said these things to her, I wish I'd taken the time.
CHAKOTAY: Would anyone else like to say something?
KIM: I would, sir. I know Captain Janeway wouldn't want us to be sitting around moping. She'd want us to be cheering each other up remembering the good times, like that away mission when we found all those bushes of over-ripe fruit. Must have eaten half a kilo. My hands and mouth were all purple, and the Captain, the Captain came and sat down next to me, and her mouth was all stained too. She put her arm around my shoulder and she said, she said 'Ensign, these are the times we have to remember'. It's, it's, sorry.
CHAKOTAY: I know this hasn't been easy but I think we'll all be better for it. We will honour the Captain one last time. Release the pod. Ensign Kim was right when he said the Captain wouldn't want us to be sad. Neelix has prepared some food and it would be nice if we could all get together and share the good times we had with Captain Janeway.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: It's over, Kathryn. There's nothing left for you here. Come with me.
JANEWAY: What do I do to leave here?
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: Just decide. The only thing that keeps you is your refusal to leave.
JANEWAY: You may be right in everything you've said to me, but I'm not ready to accept it. I'm not ready to go.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: My poor little bird. You always made it hard for yourself. If there was a rocky path and a smooth one, you chose the rocky one every time.
JANEWAY: If I stay, maybe it'll be easier for them. Maybe I could be comforting somehow.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: You're saying all the things I told myself when I refused to leave you. I was hoping you wouldn't have to go through that. It's a horrible existence, Kathryn. As time wears on you begin to see how potent, how destructive, loneliness is. You'll see the people you love going on with their lives, doing all the things you used to share with them, but you won't be a part of it any more. You'll be forever shut out of their existence. It becomes agonizing. I don't want that to happen to you.
JANEWAY: Maybe that's what it will take for me to make that decision. I just know that now I'm not ready.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: What can I do to convince you?
JANEWAY: Nothing. I can't, I won't abandon them. We're too much a part of each other, can't you see it? We've been through so much together. I have to know what's going to happen to them. To see Kes continue to grow and learn. To know if Tom and B'Elanna will ever stop sparring with each other and develop a real friendship.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: You can only be an observer of their lives, never a participant.
JANEWAY: I don't care. I'd rather be here in spirit than not at all. A Captain doesn't abandon ship.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: Every hour you stay here makes it that much more difficult to leave.
JANEWAY: Why are you pushing me? I've made up my mind. I'm staying here!

[Planet Surface]

EMH: The cortical stimulator is working. I'm getting a weak pulse.
CHAKOTAY: She's coming back.
EMH: I'll use cordrazine along with the stimulator.

[Mess hall]

JANEWAY: What was that? What happened?
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: What do you mean?
JANEWAY: I saw Tuvok and Chakotay and the Doctor.
Admiral: Here?
JANEWAY: No. It was different, as though, as though I were looking up at them.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: An hallucination like the others.
JANEWAY: It didn't feel like the others. I didn't see myself. I was looking up at them! That's the real me, isn't it, lying on the ground on that planet, dying, and this is the hallucination. This isn't real.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: More denial. You're only making it harder on yourself.
JANEWAY: You're trying very hard to convince me to come with you. Why is that? If what you're saying is true, why not let me come to the decision on my own?
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: I'm trying to spare you unnecessary pain.
JANEWAY: My father would never act like this. He always believed I had to learn my own lessons, make my own mistakes. He never tried to shield me from life. Why would he try to shield me from death? You're not my father. I could be imagining you, but I don't think so. You have such a specific agenda. You're determined that I go with you somewhere. Who are you?
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: I'm trying to help you. Stop fighting me.
JANEWAY: Are you an alien being of some kind? Is that it?

[Planet Surface]

CHAKOTAY: Her eyes are open.
EMH: Vital signs are responding. Blood pressure is sixty over thirty.
TUVOK: But the entity is still inhabiting her cerebral cortex, impeding your treatment.
CHAKOTAY: Kathryn, hang on. We're bringing you back. Just fight a little longer.
EMH: Direct synaptic stimulation might drive out the alien presence.

[Mess hall]

JANEWAY: I was right. I heard Tuvok and Chakotay and the Doctor. You're an alien. You've created all these hallucinations, haven't you?
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: This is what my species does. At the moment just before death one of us comes to help you understand what's happening, to make the crossing over an occasion of joy.
JANEWAY: And what is that?
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: Our Matrix, where your consciousness will live. I was being truthful when I said it was a place of wonder. It can be whatever you want it to be.
JANEWAY: Then why didn't you tell me this from the beginning? Why pretend to be my father.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: Usually people are comforted to see their loved ones. It makes the crossing over a much less fearful occasion. I've done this many times but I've never encountered someone so resistant.

[Planet Surface]

EMH: Something's happened. The alien presence is getting stronger again.
CHAKOTAY: Fight it, Kathryn, just a little longer.
EMH: I'll have to try a thoron pulse.

[Mess hall]

JANEWAY: My people are telling me to fight. They're trying to save me.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: They're trying out of desperation. It's hopeless.
JANEWAY: You're the one who sounds desperate. I don't get the feeling you're trying to make me comfortable. You're only interested in my agreeing to come with you.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: Because it's inevitable.
JANEWAY: And you don't strike me as any type of Good Samaritan. You're more like a vulture, preying on people at the moment of their death when they're at their most vulnerable.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: I've waited for you. I've been patient.
JANEWAY: But your patience is wearing thin. What's the real reason you want me in that Matrix? Somehow I don't think it has anything to do with everlasting joy.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: You must go with me.
JANEWAY: If you could force me to go, you'd have done it already. You need me to agree, don't you? I have to go voluntarily.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: Wouldn't that be better than standing here in this endless debate?
JANEWAY: Let me tell you this. We can stand here for all eternity and I will never choose to go with you.
ADMIRAL JANEWAY: You're in a dangerous profession, Captain. You face death everyday. There'll be another time and I'll be waiting. Eventually you'll come into my Matrix and you will nourish me for a long, long, time.
JANEWAY: Go back to hell, coward.

[Planet Surface]

CHAKOTAY: Kathryn.
EMH: I'm no longer detecting the alien presence. Vital signs are responding. Blood pressure one ten over sixty five.
JANEWAY: Doctor, what happened?
EMH: Perhaps you can explain, Commander.
CHAKOTAY: You and I were caught in a magnetic storm and crashed here. You were badly injured. The Doctor just arrived on the shuttle with Tuvok and began treating you.
TUVOK: As he was doing so we detected an alien presence within your cerebral cortex. It appeared to be preventing our attempts to heal you.
EMH: Eventually it was dislodged, but there were a number of times I thought we'd lost you.
CHAKOTAY: But each time you seemed to fight back.
JANEWAY: He kept telling me to let go, but I wouldn't.
TUVOK: He?
JANEWAY: My father. The alien. He wanted to take me into another place.
CHAKOTAY: Another place? Some kind of afterlife?
JANEWAY: Maybe. But I can tell you this. From what I say, it's certainly not where I'd like to spend eternity.

Captain's log, stardate 50518.6. The Doctor has examined me thoroughly and pronounced me physically fit, but I'll admit that it'll take a little longer to work through the emotional impact of my experience.

[Ready room]